


The darker the night, the brighter the stars

by Daisyapples



Category: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Genre: Adam Parrish Is Trying His Best, Alternate Universe - Royalty, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon-Typical Violence, Cinderella Elements, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Joseph Kavinsky is His Own Warning, M/M, Mutual Pining, Ronan Lynch Has Feelings, Ronan Lynch Loves Adam Parrish, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-12
Updated: 2021-01-22
Packaged: 2021-03-08 17:28:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 38,399
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27270451
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Daisyapples/pseuds/Daisyapples
Summary: In which Ronan is the prince, and Adam manages to save the kingdom.
Relationships: Richard Gansey III/Blue Sargent, Ronan Lynch/Adam Parrish
Comments: 82
Kudos: 175





	1. Sunset

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really excited about this fic! It's about 90% written, has the longest chapters I've ever done and is hopefully a good story for you all to enjoy!! 
> 
> I'm in college atm so I'm planning on updating monthly so if WIP's aren't your cup of tea, maybe subscribe and read it when it's finished, I promise it'll be worth it (hopefully lol) 
> 
> As always any support, be they comments, kudos, subscriptions or bookmarks, are so welcome and appreciated!

The throne room echoed with Ronan’s footsteps as he walked towards his brother. 

Declan sat on the throne, resplendent in a golden beam of sunlight, talking quietly to Whelk, his advisor, and ignoring Ronan’s approach. Tall, stained glass windows lined the length of the room, making a rainbow of colours explode across the cold stone. Black banners hung down in rows of two, like pallbearers, and would for another six months; the official length of mourning in the country of Henrietta. The capital city, Aglionby, was rife with black. Flags. Banners. Darkened windows. Clothes. 

Ronan was so sick of their grief, so angry they got to steal it from him and his brothers. 

For the first time in his life, his all black outfits were seen as correct attire instead of a second son rebellion. For the first time in his life, he looked the part. 

He hated himself for that most of all. 

When he reached the throne, he bowed. Declan dismissed Whelk with a casual wave of his hand. Ronan enjoyed how Whelk’s eyebrows drew together at being dismissed by the younger man. It had definitely been an adjustment for the staff to have Declan as king at twenty five. Niall Lynch was meant to rule for years and years, not be murdered and hand over his throne to his eldest son. 

Declan tilted his head in greeting, eyes following Whelk from the room. 

Ronan asked, “Brother, how's the day?”

“Good.” Once Whelk shut the door and they were alone, he transformed from King to Ronan’s older brother. “God. I am so sick of them all.”

“Politics?”

Declan nodded. “I’ve been training for this my whole life and I still struggle with the casual betrayals and power grabs.” He shook his head and examined Ronan closely. “I need you to do something for me, for the kingdom.” The words were so heavy they smashed on the ground long before they reached Ronan.

Nerves made his skin tight. He knew exactly what Declan was about to ask. “Dec, please.”

“I’m sorry, Ronan. It’s time. You need to choose a partner.”

“Before you?” Ronan snapped. 

“I have to be seen to be doting on all the nobles' children. I don’t need to be married for another five years.” He glanced at the window that held the image of their mother, illuminated in sunlight. “We need to raise the people’s spirits.”

Fury was burning the remains of his heart into ash and he knew it was reflected on his face. 

Declan didn't even have the manners to appear like he minded how clearly angry Ronan was, _the absolute fuck_. He just kept talking. 

“Ronan, the people need some good news. Ever since mom and dad…" he trailed off since neither of them needed the reminder. 

Their parents had been dead for less than six months; the king murdered on a quiet ride through the country, and their mother contracted a sudden illness and followed him soon after. 

"The coronation was good and boosted morale, but with the harshness of winter, and the difficulties with the crop, we need something to get them through the toughest part of the season. A New Year's ball where you choose a husband or wife from the nobles—" Declan went to run a hand through his hair only to clip the crown he wasn't used to wearing yet. "—the kingdom needs this. I need you to do this."

Ronan nodded, abrupt and violent. "Husband," he gritted out. "I'm not choosing a wife."

Declan smiled. "I know but morale," he shrugged. "We need to let everyone think they have a chance, and since you've never had a partner, it allows us to cheer up everyone. The commoners get a ball, and then the festivities of the wedding to look forward to. The nobles get a royal son-in-law. Everyone wins." 

“Except me.” He tensed his jaw to stop any other words escaping. “Can I go?" 

"I know this isn't how you imagined it, Ronan." When he said Ronan, it sounded like he meant to say _sorry_.

"I'm gonna be late for sparring. Throw your damn ball. I'll choose someone." Short, clipped sentences were all he could give. "The people will have what they want."

Relief made Declan look ten years younger. "Thank you."

Ronan shrugged; they'd all suffered when their parents died but Declan had had to step up and take responsibility years before he was meant to. Ronan could see the strain in the premature lines around his eyes and the spackling of grey at his temples. 

"The troops are waiting." He stepped forward and clutched his brother's thin shoulder. One quick squeeze and he backed away. Comfort did not come easy to him. Not anymore. "Let Matthew plan the decorations. It'll cheer him up and get him out from under the cook's feet." 

Declan grinned. "That's a great idea. Less work for me." 

Ronan nodded, and walked the length of the hall. When he glanced back, Declan was staring at their mother, cast dark in grey shadows. He looked smaller, shrunken down by the throne behind him.

He closed the door gently and grabbed a passing servant. "Bring the king some food and tea. Tell him Matthew sent them. He needs a break." 

The servant nodded and ran off. 

Ronan headed the opposite direction towards the sparring courts. Noah fell into step beside him. 

The halls were empty mid-morning, but neither of them talked. Noah knew him well enough not to push him when he didn’t want to be. When he slammed open the side entrance, Gansey was waiting. He pushed himself off the fence and jogged to catch up with Ronan's sloping steps. 

"Meeting went that badly?"

Ronan grunted. "I've got to get married."

Gansey halted, and stared at him. "Already?"

"Morale boost." Ronan stopped walking when Gasney made no move to catch up. “It’s been a harsh winter. The people need it.”

Noah stood to the side, watching the conversation and the yard, always ready for the next attack. Despite the fact Ronan was well able to protect himself. It was why he only had one bodyguard instead of the two Matthew had. Declan, as king, had seven. 

Gansey nodded. "That makes sense." He rubbed his thumb along his lip. "You're taking this better than I expected." 

Ronan started walking and didn't slow his pace even when it took a second for Gansey to follow. "I'm going to spar and box and race my horse for the next four hours—" he paused just long enough to dip in a sarcastically perfect princely bow. "-—my father taught me how to shove all those pesky feelings that are uncouth on a prince down into a place no one can see them until I can find an acceptable outlet." 

He was going to take it one minute at a time. Sound advice he'd been clinging to since his parents funeral, when the strange stablehand that still haunted his dreams had talked him down and given him the ability to get through that day and every one after, but since he'd told no one of that encounter, he smirked instead. 

Fire blazed through it, happy to destroy him if he'd just allow it. 

He was a prince. He would never allow it. 

Gansey nodded, knowing full well the pressure Ronan had been under since his parents had been murdered, how hard he had fought to keep up this meaningless charade of appropriateness and etiquette to ensure the country remained steady through the transition from father to son. Knew how desperately Ronan had been searching for the murderers and how frustrated he was that they were no closer than they had been on the day they had died. 

Gansey nodded again. "So, sparring?"

"Sparring."

****

Adam had finally finished the laundry; sixteen oversized sheets and covers, clothes and undergarments, and the rugs his step father had insisted needed cleaning _today Adam if you're done lazing around_. He rested against the wall of the laundry room, examining his chapped and bleeding hands. The stones beneath him were as cold as the winter frost glittering in the sunrise this morning as he'd walked home. He shivered and pulled his sleeves over his hands. The cold had been particularly harsh over the last few months, and between sneaking out at night to work in Fox Way apothecary, and keeping his stepfather and stepmother happy while hiding from his two hideous step brothers, he was exhausted. 

Adam had never known his real parents, but he wondered if they could ever have been more cruel than his current parents. Greenmantle had taken him from his parents before he was even two, an act Adam did not understand. Not really. 

Greenmantle liked to joke he'd won him in a bet. Sometimes he claimed they'd used him to pay rent. Other times he said that his parents threw him out with the vegetables peels and he'd picked him up while drunk and decided to bring him home. None of the stories made Adam feel any better. He had long since stopped thinking someone was coming to rescue him. 

He'd rescue himself, or be their servant for the rest of his days. 

Mocked and bullied and diminished. 

He would not allow them to steal anymore from him. 

All he had left was his dignity. 

He closed his eyes for a moment. There was some commotion happening upstairs but it had yet to bother him so he refused to worry. Instead, he did the maths in his head. Persephone paid him more than any other job and his coin was hidden behind a slab in his small room. So far he'd already saved over half the money he would need to attend the prince's college in fall. Anyone could attend if they passed the entrance exam and could pay the yearly stripant. Accommodation wasn't cheap but he'd already agreed to keep working with Persephone for use of one of the small stock rooms at the back of the shop.

He's been working towards this dream for over two years and it was so close. 

Six more months. One entrance exam. Freedom. 

He'd been studying and reading, taking mock tests created by Calla who worked in the college and had overseen past exams, and had been quizzed by Muara as they plucked and cut and dried herbs together. Blue wanted him to leave now, move in and spend the six months safe, but he couldn't risk his step father tracking him down until he was a student. No student could be taken from the college without Prince Matthew's permission after they'd been accepted. No one had ever left who didn't want to. 

It was so close Adam could almost see the shape of the life he was building. 

Just six more months. 

"Adam." Cold impatience drenched the words. "Get up here." 

Colin Greenmantle was young and attractive, a favourite of the king's court and as rich as any of the lord's. He'd married his step wife, Piper, two years previous for her money, and her for his title, and they'd made each other miserable ever since. Piper had two sons; Joseph and Tad. Adam didn’t think she’d actually given birth to them but she’d claimed them as her own and so they were. No one denied Piper anything she wanted. 

The only joy either seemed to take from life was torturing Adam and plotting the political ruination of others. 

"Now."

Heaving himself up took all his energy, but he managed to spit out a rough, "Yes, sir."

Thin, uneven stairs led to an aging kitchen and then into a dining room. Greenmantle was talking in the corner to a man Adam didn't recognise, but from his garb, he clearly worked on the castle, probably as an advisor or in the treasury. Greenmantle glanced over at Adam and led the man from the room. 

Adam heard him say, "Whelk, you're sure?" before they disappeared through the door and into the entry hall. 

The whole family was present. 

Adam's heart sank at the sight of them. 

Greenmantle strolled back in, alone, and stood by the fireplace, flames as tall as him, holding a letter that looked like it had the royal seal. 

"Sir?"

"Oh relax, boy. No need to be so polite all the damn time."

Joseph laughed, a noise laced with cruelty. "Yes, brother dearest." He was dressed only in his trousers and vest, lounging across a couch with his arms stretched out like he already owned the estate. As the oldest, _legitimate_ , as he liked to remind Adam, son, he would be the one to inherit the lands and titles. "Try to take that stick from your ass once in a while."

"My boys, what a job I've done," Piper said, droll, from the corner where she was drinking red wine and reading. 

Tad shuffled into the room, hungover and smudgy. "Why'd'ya'wake'me?" He mumbled before pouring himself a curing glass of wine. 

Colin rolled his eyes. "We have had a royal visitor."

The effects of the words were instantaneous. Tad choked. Piper put down her book. Joseph straightened up. Adam continued to stand in the doorway, ready to bolt if he needed to. 

"Prince Ronan is to choose a bride, or husband."

Joseph's eyes sparkled dangerously. "Is he now?"

"He is to choose whomever he pleases from the nobles," Greenmantle continued, ignoring the interruption. He never liked to share the spotlight. "There will be a ball on New Year's Eve where he will decide his suitor."

"If one of the boys got chosen…" Piper preened. 

"We'd forever be in the royal family's favour," he agreed.

“This is exactly what we’ve been waiting for.”

“Took them long enough to get their act together.”

"Especially with that mess…" she trailed off. “Too bad you lost Mr Grey.”

He shook his head. “Yes, dear. I'm working on him.”

Adam didn’t understand the conversation but he filed it away for later examination. Greenmantle and Piper were always up to something, and it was better to stay ahead of them. 

He asked, "Can anyone attend the ball?" Maybe Blue would go with him and they could eat the food and laugh at all the people desperate to catch the Prince's eye. 

The four people who called themselves Adam's family swung around to stare at him. 

Joseph sneered. "Oh, does Poorboy think he's going to nab a prince?" 

"Adam?" Tad laughed. "Sure, what could he even offer a prince? Clean sheets."

They all laughed. 

Adam's cheeks burned but he didn't look away from his stepfather. 

Greenmantle sighed. "Not like he’s an actual noble now, is it? But I suppose if you complete all your chores, you can attend." 

"Don't expect us to spend money on you though," Piper jumped in. "It'll go on me and the boys. Maybe Colin if he's good."

"Thank you, sweet pea."

"Any time, sugar plum." 

Joseph and Tad gagged in unison. 

Adam crept from the room while their attention was off him. 

He didn't even consider the notion Prince Ronan would notice him, choose him. Even if he was a nobles stepson. Technically. He wasn’t sure what he was legally to Greenmantle.

He'd already met Prince Ronan only once. 

He knew exactly what the prince thought of him.

It had been the day of his parents funeral and all the noble families had had to attend. Adam, an unofficial member of Greenmantle's family, was forced to wait near the stables. Minutes before the mass had begun, Prince Ronan had stalked out, eyes wild and violent. He'd kicked a stable door until it had split apart. 

Adam, the only one in the stables at the time, spoke before he'd even considered his words, "You're scaring the horses." 

He'd looked up, eyes like blazing fires that threatened to devour Adam whole. When he'd spoken, the words were softer than Adam had thought him capable. "I don't know how to do this without them."

Adam could understand that sentiment so he nodded and stepped forward, holding out a hand until the prince had given him permission to touch his shoulder. He squeezed it, ever so softly. "One minute at a time, and when it gets to be too much, and you think you're drowning, find something you love and use it to expel the hurt from your heart."

Prince Ronan had blinked, eyelashes wet with unshed tears. "One minute?"

"Just get through the next minute. And when you survive that, the one after that. One day you'll find, you can survive whole hours, and soon, days. Months. Years." 

"Ronan?" 

The prince glanced away from where he'd trapped Adam in his icy blue eyes and looked towards the voice. Adam dropped his hand, and melted away, letting the shadows of the stables consume him. When Prince Ronan looked back, he was well hidden behind a partition. 

"Ronan? Are you okay? Were you talking to someone?"

"Yeah, he was…" The prince coughed. "Nothing. Let's get this over with." 

Adam's heart sank at the words. Of course the Prince could see from a single glance how little Adam truly was, how he had dirt under his nails and dirt staining his soul. 

Prince Ronan was right to call him nothing. 

***  
Ronan woke from dreams of the stable boy.

Haughty and distant, he'd laughed when Ronan tried to speak to him, disappeared before Ronan managed to ask him to stay. Of course, the upcoming ball had dragged up that ridiculous _thing_. 

For months after that horrible, useless day, Ronan had checked every stablehand he'd given his horse to but it had been impossible. Too many people. Too many faces. The only place he could recall him now was his dreams and even then with little accuracy, always more the idea of the man than the man himself. 

Matthew slammed into his bedchambers and jumped onto his bed. "Tonight's the big night."

Ronan groaned.

"C'mon, pal. It's going to be magic."

 _Just one minute_ , whispered the voice in his head. 

He grinned at Matthew. "Yeah, man. I'm sure it will be."

Matthew beamed and left, calling cheerful greetings to the guards and servants alike. 

Ronan rolled off the bed and relieved himself, ringing the bell for a bath and a separate bell for breakfast. He had two rooms; a bed chamber and a sitting room with an alcove for an office. They were lush and soft, well worn but never lacking for comforts. Having these separate living quarters allowed him a little space to be himself, and he treasured it. Noah's rooms were next door, and Gansey, as his advisor, had rooms down the hall. They'd often wasted nights together when insomnia dug its heels in, and they were starting to see double.

By the time he was clean and dressed, breakfast had arrived and he was reading his daily briefing from the king, the captain of the guard and the council. A knock interrupted a letter he was writing. 

“Come in.”

Noah stepped in the door with Gansey close behind. 

They both stood waiting until Ronan waved at them to join him. He hated the forced politeness but he knew it was easy to get on with it than to talk them out of it. They were as informal with it as they could be without drawing looks and he knew he had to be happy with that. Declan’s rule was unexpected and had caused more than one problem within the kingdom and the nobles; some skirmishes, some nobles plotting for power, some political plays. 

Formality was a shield against prying eyes. 

When they'd sat and served themselves, Ronan asked, “Any updates?”

“Every road we’ve gone down has been a dead end. We know it was a plot by a noble family but we don't know who or why.” Ganey sounded exhausted. “Ronan, we may never figure it out. They've covered their tracks too well.”

He nodded, knowing this was a possibility but unwilling to stop searching for his parents murderer. “What’s next?”

“We stop.”

Ronan glared at Noah. “What the fuck?”

“They need to think you’ve given up," Noah spoke briskly, but gently. "King Declan clearly stated that the murderer would be brought to justice and that you'd be doing the investigating. There's too much focus on you. We need to make them think they got away with it, and then when they feel safe again, we’ll catch them, Ro.”

It was only the use of his name that softened the tense line of Ronan's shoulders. “What if that only means one of us ends up dead instead?”

“No harm will come to you on my watch,” Noah said with iron in his words. “I've already spoken to your brother’s guards. They know to protect them. We will keep you safe.”

Ronan nodded, trusting Noah with his life implicitly. He had earned that. Both his parents' guards had been murdered along with them. He didn't want the same to happen to his friend. “What about you? Will you be safe?”

Noah snorted. “I’ve been dead for seven years.”

Ronan kicked him under the table, tired of the long held joke. “You better stay safe, you asshole.”

“We need to discuss the ball.” Gansey tore apart some bread but didn’t eat it. “Cheng and I have discussed finding you matches. Would that be suitable?”

“Must I?”

Both men stared at him. 

“Fine. Yes, that is suitable,” he sneered, hating when Gansey maintained such forced politeness. “Where is Cheng?”

“Getting your suit from the tailors.”

“He made me a new suit? I was going to wear…”

“Your black one. Yes. We know.” Gansey sighed. “We thought it might be better to make you as attractive as possible. You know to endear you to your future husband.”

Ronan’s stomach turned and he dropped his toast. “Wonderful. Exactly what I want.”

“It’ll be okay.” Gansey squeezed his hand. “It is one step in a multitude of courting rituals. You won’t even be marrying them for another year.”

Ronan snorted. “That definitely helps.” He folded up his letters and sealed them with his wax seal. “Remind me who’s coming tonight?”

***

Adam glanced down at himself and frowned. He'd spent the last two hours scrubbing the many chimneys in their oversized house. Ash painted his skin in black streaks. It crusted under his fingernails. Turned his hair dark. He knew why Greenmantle had suddenly decided the chimneys had to be cleaned today, _the day of the ball_ , but it didn't stop disappointment from welling up in his stomach. It was already nearing sunset. 

The ball would be beginning soon. 

"Adam, do make sure to sweep up in here when you're done. There's ash everywhere." Piper's black dress shimmied in the candle light. She giggled. "Oh but you look like a little ragamuffin boy."

He kept his eyes down, picking up the sweeping brush and doing as she asked. He managed to hide his flinch when Joseph laughed. 

"Oh, Poorboy. You look amazing," he taunted with humourless joy. "The prince will definitely fall for you."

Tad chuckled behind him. "Because you look so terrible."

"Yeah, Tad. He got that." Joseph rolled his eyes. "Ready, mother dearest?"

"Of course, light of my life." Sarcasm dropped off the words like oil. "Is your father ready?" 

“I’m here.” Greenmantle stood at the top of the stairs. His suit matched his wife’s dress; silky black with a burgundy shirt and black tie. A burgundy cloak was draped across his shoulders. “I’m about to make my grand entrance.”

“Pretty sure that’s meant to be, dear,” Piper said. “But go ahead.”

He fanned out his cloak and descended the wide sweeping stairs, hand pale against the dark mahogany. When he reached the bottom, he swept his clock to the side and smirked. “You’re welcome.”

“We are all in awe of your looks and charm.” Piper’s voice was as dry as a throat on a hot summer's day. “Joseph, sweetie, go see if the carriage is ready.”

“Oh, Adam,” Greenmantle said, clearly noticing him in the entranceway. “Stop lurking in the shadows. It’s so creepy.”

He stepped forward, wrapping his hand around his other wrist. “I can wash up and be ready in twenty minutes.”

Piper laughed. Tad glanced up from a book he was flicking through to laugh as well. Even Joseph joined in as he walked back in the front door. 

Greenmantle smirked, clearly enjoying his family’s amusement. “Adam, we can’t have you showing up like that. You are…” He waved his hands in disgust. “Dirty.”

‘Nothing.”

“Embarrassing.”

“Ugly.”

Tears filled Adam’s eyes but he blinked them away. “Okay, okay. I get it.”

“Wonderful. Piper and I will be back at midnight. We have an early luncheon. Be sure to have lit the fire in our room before we get back.”

They strolled out; attractive, and well dressed, well educated, and rich. Adam had rarely felt so small. When he was sure they were gone, he sat at the bottom of the stairs and sobbed.

***

Ronan was bored. 

The ball was extravagant in every way he hated. It stretched out across the castle courtyard and down to the village, and up into the ballroom which heaved with people dressed in their finest. Candles hung from giant chandeliers that swung gently in the breeze. Torches swept the length of the hall. A blazing fire sat near the entrance in the giant fireplace. Ronan could see bonfires dotting the courtyard. A long table stretched the length of the ballroom, stacked high with food and beer for anyone to take. It was at least amusing to watch the little children running around and grabbing handfuls of sweets and cakes before disappearing back into the crowd. 

He remembered doing that with Dec and Matthew when they'd been younger, and more carefree, with their parents watching from the thrones. 

The nobles had insisted on a space away from the crowds. They sat in on a dias, slightly higher than the dancefloor, and appeared unimpressed by the revelry. Ronan, Declan and Matthew had three thrones even higher up, overlooking the ball. 

Only Ronan sat on his throne, watching. 

Matthew was off socialising and having the time off his life. Ronan could see his blonde head weaving between people, chatting and laughing. His two bodyguards looked exhausted as they chased him from one conversation to the next. Matthew often made them join in because he didn’t want them to be bored. They’d figured out that if one held court and the other watched out, they could keep the prince happy. It worked, and both Declan and Ronan approved. It meant Matthew’s ‘friends’ were vetted as well. He tended to attract the worst kind of people who wanted his money and power and influence. He’d been hurt more than once, especially after their parents deaths, and Ronan hated it. 

Declan chatted to the nobles. Despite looking exhausted, he charmed as he moved through the families, laughing at bad jokes and smiling at those desperate to bag a king. Declan’s closest bodyguards were two women; easily overlooked but deadly. The rest hung close but inconspicuous. They followed his every move and kept everyone at a discrete distance. Ronan appreciated them. Especially since only he could see the strain in the tightness in Declan’s eyes, or hear the false note to his laughter. Only he noticed how often Declan glanced at his throne with longing. When Helen Gansey caught his attention, his shoulders relaxed an inch. They'd known each other since they were children. She'd look out for him. 

Ronan grinned down at his hands as she easily guided Declan away from Piper Greenmantle. 

“You should probably be socialising at least a little,” Noah said from beside him. The tone of his words told Ronan he was more than happy to stay safely on top of the room. 

He snorted. “Gansey and Henry will bring up anyone worth me talking to.” He trusted them to find the best people for him. It also helped because he hated speaking to people so if they vetted them first at least he had some comfort that they were probably okay. “I’ll meet who they deem worthwhile.”

Noah laughed and then coughed. “Incoming.”

Joseph Kavinsky Greenmantle strode up the stairs, but was stopped by two guards. Ronan lazily waved to allow him through. Joseph kneeled, barely, and then smiled his bastard grin at Ronan. 

“How are you enjoying your ball? Found your future husband?” K had figured out Ronan’s preference long before he even had. “Gansey searching out your favourites and to think he hasn’t spoken to me all night. I am a noble, you know?”

“How could I forget?” Ronan rolled his eyes. “K, you hardly think you’d be the one I choose?”

“And why wouldn’t I be?” K’s eyes darkened. “We have such fun during the tournaments. I see how you watch me.”

“Tournaments are one thing." Ronan hated how he could hide nothing from K's examining eyes. More and more he felt those eyes on him, and where a few years ago, he'd felt dangerous and exciting, now he was just exhausting. Ronan tried to keep the creep of impatience from his next words. "Marriage is a whole other thing.”

Scorn shadowed K’s face. “You think I couldn’t satisfy you?”

“Sir, I’d ask you to remember who you are speaking to.” Noah’s usually cheerful voice was harsh with barely tempered rage. “Your respect is expected.”

K ducked his head. Anyone who didn’t know him would have thought he was being respectful, but Noah and Ronan had known him years. Noah took a step forward. 

Ronan raised his hand to pause his friend. “Pleasure as always, Joseph. Enjoy the rest of the ball.”

Hearing the dismissal, the two guards escorted Joseph away. 

“Asshole,” Noah muttered, low enough only Ronan would hear. 

Ronan huffed out a laugh. “Hopefully the others find someone better.”

***

When a quiet knock sounded on the front door, Adam finally raised his head up from his hands and glanced over. White hair fluttered like snow through the glazed glass window. Adam pushed himself up with a sigh, and opened the door to find Persephone, Calla, Muara and Blue clamouring to get in. Blue was in a dress; flowing layers with rips and lace attached in random places. Her hair was spiked up and tinged with rainbow colours. She looked spectacular. 

Adam found himself smiling despite how blotchy and sore his face felt from tears. “You look great,” he managed, voice a hoarse whisper. 

“We got worried when you never turned up.” Blue wrapped her arms around him, giving him a tight hug. “What happened?”

He pointed down at himself, and then examined her sharply to make sure he hadn’t got his dirt on her, and then shrugged. “They decided I needed to clean the chimneys. It took all day, and they left without me.” Tears filled his eyes again. He rubbed them away viciously. “Why are you here?”

“We came to help,” Persephone whispered. She slipped past him, and seemed even smaller in the grand entrance hall. “Where is the bathroom?”

“It’s upstairs but I’m not allowed to use the hot water.” 

“Indeed,” Calla said. “Lets go.”

Muara patted his cheek as she walked by. “C’mon, dear. You know there’s no point in arguing with them.”

Blue shrugged, and took his hand, dragging him after her. “It’s easier to just go with it now. Plus this way we can go to the ball together.”

Adam was too tired to argue so he followed to see what they had planned. Persephone had filled the bath with the hot water they always had boiling on a fire and poured in some of Piper’s more expensive bubbles. The three women turned and Adam realised he was meant to get in. Considering he trusted them with his life, he sighed, stripped and quickly got into the bath. 

“Ready?” Persephone asked, kindness soaking her words. 

Adam nodded, and then said, “Yeah.”

“Great,” Calla clapped her hands. “Muara, you deal with his nails. I’ll sort out his hair. Persephone, the clothes. Blue, get the boy some food.”

Blue disappeared with a firm nod. Muara took his hands, gently cleaning beneath the nails and squeezing every now and again. Especially when Adam gave a particularly large sniff. Calla scrubbed his hair clean at the same time. She wasn’t as gentle but there was still something comforting about her nails scratching along his scalp. Persephone was humming behind him so he couldn’t see the clothes he could hear her hanging up. 

“Okay, rinse and scrub. Towel. Underwear.”

Adam did what he was told. When he was dry and not naked, he said, “Okay.”

Persephone clapped. “Ready?”

He nodded. 

With great flourish, she pulled a cover off the clothes. A suit hung by the fire. The trousers were silver and embedded with navy threads. The jacket was navy with silver stardust, lining the shoulders and dribbling down the front. It shone in the firelight. The shirt was navy as well and lined with silver. It glinted in the flames. He was suddenly glad the ball was exempt from the traditional grief clothing because it was the most beautiful suit he had ever seen. 

“What is this?” When he touched it, it felt as smooth and cold as ice. “Is this for me?”

Persephone hummed. “Of course.” 

“I can’t take this. It’s too much.”

“Hush,” Calla said. “This has had no use to anyone for so long. It deserves a chance for a night at the ball.” 

Blue arrived back with a full plate. “Food. Eat. And then we shall take you to the ball.”

Adam glanced around at them all. “What if they recognise me?”

“A mask,” Muara replied, holding up a silver mask that would cover his eyes, nose and forehead, leaving only his mouth visible. “It’ll stop them from noticing you. Don’t worry.”

“I need to be back by twelve. That’s when Piper and Greenmantle will be back.” 

Blue nodded. “We'll get you back by then. I promise.”

Calla clucked her tongue. “Now. Silver or black eyeliner?”

***  
If Ronan had thought he was bored before, he'd had no idea what boredom was. 

He’d been sitting on his throne for six hours, and barring intervals from inane conversation with the men, and for some reason, probably Declan, women, that kept being presented to him, and the little snarky comments from Noah, he was slowly melting into nothingness. He already knew he didn't want to marry any of the noble's children, but tonight had confirmed. 

He’d lost track of Matthew which made unease settle in his stomach, and Declan looked like he was ready to renounce the throne if only it meant he wouldn’t have to have another conversation with an ambitious noble. 

When the hush fell over the crowd, Ronan perked up, hoping for a fight to entertain him. 

Instead, there was a man. 

He stood in the doorway, moonlight shining on him. The crowd had backed away, giving him space. Whispers followed him as he walked down the stairs. He was alone, and seemed uncomfortable with it. His clothes twinkled in the candlelight like stars. Tall and elegant, a silver masked framed stark blue eyes. 

Ronan knew those eyes. He stood, and quiet fell. 

Ronan hopped off the stage and walked towards him, crowd parting easily. He watched the man notice his approach, saw him freeze and then fist his hands into his fine coat. It made the bone protrude in his thumb, made the veins more prominent. 

Ronan knew those hands. 

When he reached the stranger, he bowed. A shocked gasp echoed through the hall. He ignored them. “Dance with me?”

“Of course, my prince.” He didn't stutter with nerves or allow his voice to shake. The only indication of his nervousness at talking to a prince was a slight clenching of his fists before he held them up for Ronan to take. “I’m afraid I do not know the steps very well.”

Ronan stepped forward and took the lead. “I won’t let you go wrong.”

The man smiled; bright and piercing. It lit up his eyes and seemed to expand Ronan’s heart, heal some of the hurt there. His mask covered most of his face, sparkling in the candle light. 

He waved his hand and the music started. They were given a wide berth as they travelled through the steps. The man was either a quick learner, or had lied about not knowing the dance. Ronan thought it was the former. 

“What’s your name?” He asked as they swayed in the closing beats of the song.

The man smiled, but it was tight. “I know I should answer, but can I not? You can call me Parrish.”

“Well, you can call me Lynch then.”

A blush stained the man’s cheeks. “Thank you for the dance, Lynch.”

Something hot curled in Ronan’s stomach when the man said his name. 

The man took a step back. “But I am sure you have other offers far more amusing than me. Offers from nobles.” 

The hint was as obvious as a right hook. The man didn’t realise Ronan knew him, recognised him, wanted him. 

“Take a walk with me,” Ronan said, panicked he would lose him so soon after he’d found him again. “In the gallery. It will be quiet.”

Parrish glanced around, and nodded when he saw a small woman talking to Gansey. “My friend, will she be okay?” 

“Gansey will take the best care of her. I promise. He’s my most trusted friend.” 

“Okay, then. A walk sounds lovely, my liege. Lynch.”

Ronan smiled; easy and elastic. He felt like he was on fire when he took the man’s hand and led him from the ballroom. Only Noah’s presence at his back eased the weight of the gazes following their departure.

***

Adam’s heart was in his throat. 

Prince Ronan was much more attractive than he'd allowed himself to remember. Striking blue eyes followed his movements making Adam feel overly large and clumsy. It should have been unnerving but somehow it made him feel safe. Like if the Prince was nearby nothing bad would even get past him. Like if Greenmantle or Piper started with their picking and their snide comments, Ronan would notice and make them stop.

Adam _wanted_. 

He was a hungry being, always without the most basic of necessities, but Ronan had awoken a want even he’d been unaware of, and now Adam yearned. He wanted to touch the Prince and be touched by him. He wanted to be held, be hugged, be kissed. The warmth when they danced, the lines of their bodies touching, the rough feel of his hand in Adam's, and the soft press of it on his waist directing him carefully through the dance; it made him shivery and desperate for more. 

He pushed it away. He thought he'd gotten better at physical affection since meeting Blue and having her family care for him, but he didn’t know how to articulate what he wanted now.

Love felt like a privilege. Affection felt as confusing as any new language; he wasn’t fluent, and so stayed quiet, observing others who seemed to seamlessly move from one language to the next. 

None of it mattered anyway. 

He was a commoner.

The prince must marry a noble. 

Lynch had his hands in his pockets. “What do you do, Parrish?”

“I’m a servant in a noble’s house.” Sudden panic flared through him. “They don't know I'm here tonight. Please don’t mention my name to anyone.” 

Prince Ronan examined him for a moment, but nodded. “Your name is my secret.”

Pleasure turned his cheeks hot. “But I also work in an apothecary and am planning on sitting the entrance exam to Prince Matthew’s college soon.”

“Ambitious?” He sounded disappointed like maybe he thought Adam was only interested in his standing. “You know I could get you into the college without taking the test if you wanted? Gansey didn’t have to take it.”

Adam’s heart dropped. “Thank you, sire. I appreciate the offer but I have to do it myself. I have to earn it, or it’s worth nothing. Like you said I'm ambitious.” Because he was and he wouldn’t be made feel ashamed of that. “But not ambitious like some of the nobles are,” he thought of Greenmatles plotting with disgust. “I want to succeed by my own hands and my own brain. Not through games and manipulation.”

“What would you do to succeed?”

Adam snorted. “What wouldn’t I? I was not born into a loving family, Lynch,” he said the name with a thrill that ran down his spine. “I have not been loved much in my life, nor have I had many advantages. When I succeed, it will because I made it happen. No one else.”

The Prince nodded. “And how would you rate success?”

This gave Adam pause because he didn’t know. He always just imagined he would know it when he got there. “I don’t know,” he admitted. 

“Me neither,” Lynch said. “I always thought it would be leading my army into a great battle or winning a tournament. Now I think if I could make my mother smile again when I did something kind, or laughed with my father, I would consider it a success. Now, when I ease some of the tension from my brother’s shoulders, or make Matthew smile without the pain in his eyes.” He shrugged. “That probably sounds stupid.”

Adam smiled. “I think that sounds better than my hope of a job and a house with no one to share it with.”

“That is your dream? To be alone?”

“I just want to be safe, and be free, and to know that no one could take either from me again.” 

Adam was too scared to look at the prince. Instead, he examined the portraits as they strolled down an oversized hallway that must also have been an art gallery. Portraits of the princes were interspersed with other members of their family across the generations. There were landscapes of such beauty Adam’s breath caught and night skies alight with lightning. 

“I’ve never seen so much beauty in one place,” he whispered, afraid to break the magic of the place. 

“It's my favourite part of the castle.”

A cough sounded behind them. “My Prince, the King is looking for you.”

“Thanks, Noah.” He bit the leather bracelets around his wrist in a oft repeated habit. “Stay. Please. I’ll be back as quickly as I can. Noah will keep you company.”

“I can’t leave your side, my liege.”

The prince nodded. “Yeah, of course. Fuck. Just stay, okay?”

Something warmed inside him at Lynch’s insistence. “I'll do my best.”

“Okay.” He backed away, watching Adam all the way, as if afraid he would truly disappear if he took his eyes off him for one moment. “I’ll be back soon.”

He turned and strolled down the hallway, leaving Adam to calm the frightening pulse of his heartbeat. 

***

Ronan cursed his brother in every language he knew as he paced the corridor back to the party. He had finally found the stableboy, had talked to him, was finally getting to know him, and now he had to go and have this damnable conversation. When they reached the private door back to the thrones, he let Noah fuss over his clothes. 

“He seems nice.”

“Oh fuck you,” he replied before striding back across the stage and kneeling in front of his brother. “You wanted to see me, my liege?” They rarely bothered with formalities in private but it was essential in public. 

“You disappeared with a man who is not a noble.” Declan gestured for him to stand and sit. “You’ve been missing for over half an hour. I thought maybe you were dead.”

“Noah wouldn’t let me die. Even if I wanted to.” The scars on his wrist attested to that. When Declan blanched, Ronan quickly changed the subject. “I think I found him.”

“Who?” He smiled as the commoners danced, but Ronan knew he had his full attention. Declan had always been the best politician in the family. Recently though, he’d made sure to be a brother first. 

“A husband.”

Declan’s smile dampened. “Ronan, please tell me this is about a noble and not the man you left with.” 

“He’s a servant,” he replied.

“You know it has to be a noble. It's one of our agreements with the nobles. They must have a way into all this power,” he finished with an annoyed huff.

Ronan ignored the words. “I think he works in a noble manor, but he also works in an apothecary, and wants to go to Matthew's college.”

“Ambitious and hard working, smart too.” Declan approval meant nothing if he enforced the law of Ronan marrying a noble. Declan's hand, closest to Ronan, trembled and he fisted it when he saw Ronan watching it. “Which house does he work for?”

“Are you okay?” He tilted his head towards Declan’s hand as subtly as he could. 

“Long night. Long week. Long damn year.” He smiled a brittle shape. “So which house does he work for?”

Ronan accepted the answer at face value; they’d all suffered this year. “I hadn’t gotten that far before you called me back.”

“Maybe you can be friends? You do not need to marry him. You just met him.”

“Yet I can marry a noble I just met?”

“You’ve known them your whole life.”

“Enough to know I don’t want to marry any of them.”

“Ronan.” He sounded like he meant to say _please_.

Horrifyingly, tears pricked Ronan’s eyes. It was rare for him to feel so completely trapped by the archaic laws decided too long ago, but tonight they were like a noose around his neck. “Just give me some time with him, please. I’ll come back to the ball after and talk to anyone else you want.”

Declan nodded, his face a reflection of Ronan’s pain. “I needed to be sure you were okay.”

He took the apology, and permission, for what they were, and joked, “And that I hadn’t ran from the ball.”

Declan smirked, but it didn’t reach his eyes. 

“Can I go now?”

“Go. Come back soon though.” Declan examined him. “I am sorry, Ronan.”

He had no time for his apologies, not now. “Go talk to Helen again.”

“She's engaged. No need to use that tone.”

Ronan laughed. “I bet she’d be happy to break it for you, my liege.” He kneeled again, hiding his smirk in his knee. “There are worse families to tie yourself to than the Gansey’s.”

“Ronan, you know you can’t marry this man, right?”

“Maybe not, but I can have tonight with him.”

Declan sighed but waved him away. “Be careful, brother.”

“Always,” he promised.

He walked off the stage, aware of K’s eyes following him. He long knew the weight of his gaze and had once revelled in it, but he’d grown up quickly without his parents, and teenage rebellion had lost its flare when the protective embrace of his mother wasn’t there to soothe the wounds, when his father wasn’t there to tell him his own stories of teenage terror. Ronan had grown up the minute news came of his parents deaths, had embraced adulthood instead of allowing it to weigh him down with its demands. He was old enough to know now that K was the oil and Ronan the lit match. No one would leave an entanglement between them without being burned. 

When he strolled into the gallery, he thought for one dreadful second Parrish was lost again, but then he saw him sitting in front of a painting. A storming ocean exploded in greys and blacks, restless and furious. Above it a night sky stared down, calm in a way that made the ocean seem like it was throwing a tantrum. It made Ronan ache to see it. He hadn’t realised Declan had hung it up. Parrish was staring up at it with a quiet, thoughtful expression. Ronan wanted to learn him. Wanted to know all of his secrets. 

He sat beside him, slightly closer than manners decreed. Parrish didn’t move away. 

“Is the King okay?”

“Nosy. Interfering.” Ronan examined the long length of his neck, the sharp lines of his cheekbones and the dusty blonde of his hair. His hands rested loosely in his lap and Ronan wanted to link their fingers together. He refrained by taking his crown off and putting it off to the side. “Reminding me of my place.”

Adam stiffened for a moment, and then relaxed. “It’s never easy to be reminded of the roles we were born to play.” He smiled sadly, and glanced up at the painting. “Who painted this?”

“I did,” he admitted, feeling torn open. “After I lost my parents and the world reshaped itself into a storming sea.”

“I’m sorry.” He reached over slowly, as slowly and carefully as he had at the funeral, and when Ronan didn’t deny him, he reached in and laced their fingers together. 

Ronan’s heart thumped, his world narrowed down to warm fingers, rough skin and the pulse of the hearts together. “It was a long time ago,” he lied because it had barely been half a year. 

“No, it wasn’t.”

“No,” he sighed. “It wasn’t.”

“I never knew my real parents and my stepfather is… There’s a reason I can't tell you my full name and a reason I've swore you to secrecy.” He glanced down at their joined hands. “Tell me about this ball. Have you found your future partner?”

He said it in such a way that Ronan knew he wasn’t vying for the position, had not even considered it could be him, and Ronan knew it had to be a noble, he _knew_ it in his bones, but still the realisation that Parrish respected that and still wanted to sit with him in the quiet made Ronan’s throat dry. 

He was a prince and would always be seen as the measure of what he could bring to any arrangement. 

He would always be his title and his power. 

Yet, Parrish saw him. Just Ronan. 

Without thinking, Ronan turned and captured Parrish’s lips. The kiss was light, chaste. He felt the way Parrish’s breath caught and then fell from him in a gust of air. Felt the way he almost melted, almost allowed the tension to leave his shoulders, before he pulled back. 

“My liege, I’m sorry.” He stood up and fell backwards, almost crashing into the wall. There were tears in his eyes. “I can’t, Lynch. Trust me, I’m not the one you want.”

Ronan didn’t understand. “Don’t you want me?”

“More than you can know.” His voice broke and he roughly rubbed his eyes. “But this isn’t….I’m not… I'm not a noble. You can’t... I’m not what you want.”

“Parrish…”

“I’m sorry, Prince Ronan.” The casual demeanor disappeared under a cloak of the hated formality. A bell rang out signalling the countdown to midnight. “I have to go.” 

He disappeared before Ronan even thought to give chase.


	2. Twilight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Monthly updates are so far apart lol! I just had to update after I finished editing! 
> 
> Hope you enjoy it!!

Adam ran.

He forced his way through the crowds of cheering, dancing, eating and drinking people. Warm bodies sweated and smelled, heaving together and catching his jacket and hands and tripping him up. His breath was a hollow noise in his throat. He stepped on someone’s foot and turned to apologise. 

Strong hands grabbed him and for one terrifying and hopeful moment he thought it was Prince Ronan. 

K had his hand wrapped around his wrist. “Sir, you stepped on me.”

“Sorry.” Adam pulled his hand back with a little force since K was so slow at letting him go. 

“Do I know you?” His eyes swept over Adam's masked face. "You seem familiar."

Adam took a step back. “No. Sorry again.” 

He pushed himself away, desperate and fearful as the clock tolled midnight. Frantic, he reached the door and nearly choked on the sob of relief when he saw Blue waiting for him. 

She grabbed his shoulders. “It’s okay. They’re still saying their goodbyes." Her hands ran soothing lines up and down his arms. "They’ve trapped the king so they’ll stay as long as they have his attention.”

Adam glanced over and some of the tension fell from his shoulders when he saw she was right. Greenmantle had the King's ear, and Piper preened beside him.

“Come on.” Blue gripped his hand and dragged him out. “The others will have set the fire and turned down the beds but you need to be there.”

He nodded, following her through the crowds to where the apothecary’s cart was tied up. He clung to the side as the horse sped past the crowds of celebrating people and finally down the dark, uneven road back to his house. It was only when he’d made sure everything was alright, and there was no evidence of his rule breaking, that he finally relaxed. 

The Fox Way women were long gone with their magic and clothes and love. He missed it already.

Piper and Greenmantle finally arrived home, tipsy and loud. Tad and K were still out at the ball by the time Adam crawled into bed, heart beating a new rhythm against his chest that he thought maybe sounded a bit like hope. He dreamt of Prince Ronan, of warm lips and careful words, and woke with a smile before dawn. Not his hard bed or the monotonous chores managed to dim the hum beneath his skin. He ignored the niggling voice reminding him that when Prince Ronan had met him in his normal clothes, covered in dirt and grime, he'd thought him nothing. Reminded him he would never be good enough for the Prince, would never be a noble, could never marry him, but still, it was a nice feeling knowing he had been for just one night enough to capture the Prince’s attention.  
He reminded himself over and over again that only a noble could marry a prince, and decided if this was all he got, just this memory, it would carry him for far longer than the six months he had left in the house.

He made breakfast as always, and served them in the dining room. It was a shabbier room than the guest dining room. The paint was dull from sunlight. Only ugly landscapes hung on the walls. A rip made the curtains dip in the centre. Still, he liked it better than the fuss and expense of the room they only showed guests. When he rolled tea in on the silver trolley, Tad had his head in his hands, groaning. K seemed paler than usual, but was shoving food into his mouth in a way that turned Adam’s stomach. 

“Did you see the man the Prince disappeared with?” Piper asked as Adam poured her tea. Her make up was impeccable and she smelled of roses. “He was the only person he danced with the whole night.”

Adam’s hand jerked and he missed the cup.

Greenmantle snarled, "Be careful, Adam." 

“Adam, you dunce." Piper squealed. "Clean it up.”

Red staining his cheeks, he mopped up the spill. “Sorry, ma'am.”

K glanced up at him, eyes narrowed and then shook his head. That seemed to be the wrong move because he clamped his lips shut after and breathed through his nose for a long minute. 

Tad laughed at him and grabbed a plain lice of toast. “So, what did you do without us?"

Adam shrugged and poured him a cup of tea. 

“The house was so clean when we got home, Adam,” Piper sounded disappointed. She'd probably been looking forward to shouting at him. “You were so right to keep working after we left."

“Thank you.” He put the teapot down and stood by the fire, ignored by them until they needed something. 

Piper turned her focus onto K, eyes assessing and greedy. “What did you talk about with the Prince?”

He shrugged. “Usual. He wants me. He just doesn’t know it yet. If I could just get him away from his guard and Gansey. I’d have him wrapped around my little finger in minutes.” 

Piper made a non-committal sound but disappointment radiated off her. “And Tad, how did your night go?”

“Oh splendidly, mother," he said through a mouthful of sausage. "Had a ball.”

K snorted. “Did you even try to speak to Prince Ronan?”

“Well, no." He took another bite of toast and grinned around it. "But Prince Matthew and I had the most glorious time. I’m invited to his private suites at the college next week.”

Three heads swiveled and stared at Tad. It would've been amusing if Adam's stomach hadn't dropped to his knees. 

Tad grinned, smugness scrawled across his face. “The way I saw it everyone was going to be vying for King Declan’s and Prince Ronan’s attention so why not make friends with the third prince? Less powerful, of course, but rumor has it both the King and the Prince dote on Prince Matthew. I imagine if I'm a good enough friend to him, I will be invited to all sorts of fancies, and of course, I’ll have to insist I bring my mother.”

Greenmantle let out a bellowing laugh. “I never knew you had it in you, son.”

Adam thought of how softly Prince Ronan had spoken Matthew’s name, how he clearly loved him, and his stomach roiled with a sick turn. “Is that not a bit,” he said without thinking and then shuddered to a halt when four sets of eyes glared at him. “Nothing.”

“Honestly, Adam,” Greenmantle sneered. “It’s not like you understand the politics of this at all. I mean you can barely read.”

Adam nodded, burning with shame. 

He’d long taught himself to read, write and do arithmetics. He’d been stealing books from the library since he was tiny and could coherently argue about politics and banking, history and society. He held opinions on all of them and more. But he could never tell _these_ people that. He just had to wait until he reached the college and met like minded people. He feared, as always, that he would be behind so he'd been reading the papers delivered to Greenmantle each morning after he’d left the table with instructions to burn them. He knew all the comings and goings of the capital. He knew more than most because Greenmantle had a web of spies across all areas of business, and even in the castle. 

He wasn’t going to mention that. 

“Yes, sir. Apologies.” He tilted his head down, staring at the ground and wishing his skin wouldn’t burn quite so bright in the morning light.

He had so little left and his pride was precious to him. 

Greenmantle humphed and went back to his readings. 

“So, tell us more about your conversations with Prince Matthew,” Piper insisted. “Who knows when we could use them to our advantage.”

Grennmantle squeezed her hand. “Not yet, dear, but soon.”

“You never let me have any fun.”

He laughed. “Go on then, Tad. Tell us about the prince and I'll see what Whelk has to say about it.”

Adam listened, feeling strangely protective of the young prince, but he didn’t interrupt again. 

***

Ronan woke late.

The ball had gone on for hours after he’d lost Parrish and he hadn't been able to leave until dawn was creeping along the horizon and the servants were laying out breakfast platters. He’d stolen one as he went and he, Noah and Gansey had eaten it in his private quarters, discussing the party in great strokes and avoiding the conversation they all knew they would have to have; how to find Ronan’s mysterious man, and what he was going to do about having to marry a noble. 

Matthew slept beside him, face angelic in the candle light. He’d either had nightmares and searched out his older brother, or had been too drunk to make it to his rooms. Either way, Ronan was glad of the company. 

He rang the bell for a servant, and asked for a bath to be prepared and for food to be brought up for him and his brother. Declan was working despite not being able to leave until all the guests had departed. He told the servant to let the King know they would be eating in Ronan’s room if he wanted to join them. 

The servant left with a nod.

Ronan left Matthew sleeping, and went into his private sitting room. He sat by the fire and stared into the flames, wondering about Parrish. The man was ambitious but didn’t want handouts. He was insulted by Ronan’s suggestion of getting into the college without a test, proud of the work he had done and the work he planned to do. Success. What a nebulous concept to build one's life on. Ronan couldn't understand how he was any less than a noble, any less worthy of Ronan's love. 

He mentioned an apothecary. 

There were over twenty in the capital but Ronan was sure Gansey could search them out, quietly and discreetly. His friend had a talent for finding what didn't want to be found, and Ronan had to find him. He had to… He didn't know yet. Maybe they could be friends. Maybe he could keep some part of him close even after he'd married whatever noble Declan had deemed fit. He shook his head free from the bitter thoughts. It wasn't Declan's fault that he was tied to antiquated laws that helped keep the throne in power. They were important, he knew that. He believed in them, believed in the throne and the good they could do with the kingdom, the good his family had done and could do. He ran calloused fingers over chapped lips, wishing Parrish’s taste was still there, knowing he'd never be able to taste him again. 

The kiss had set Ronan on fire and he wanted to burn. 

A knock interrupted his thoughts. “Your bath, sire.”

Ronan nodded and allowed them to set up the bath in front of the fire. He soaked in it until Matthew woke and demanded Ronan get out so he could wash the hangover off him. Ronan called for more hot water and then dinner arrived and with it Declan who laughed at his brothers fighting over the water. 

“What would mom say if she saw you now?”

“That Matthew was a brat who shouldn’t drink so much.”

Matthew snorted. “Dad would be thrilled I’d learned to hold my liquor and you know it.”

Declan laughed, and it was more real than any he’d given in months. He still looked too skinny though. “Get out so we can eat. I’m starving.”

Matthew threw himself out of the bath and stood dripping and naked by the fire. “Ronan, get me a towel.”

Rolling his eyes, Ronan threw him one and went to join Declan at the table. “You look like death warmed up.”

“Two hours sleep and a council meeting all day. Whelk has been at me about listening to Greenmantle’s new policy ideas.” He rolled his eyes. “Not my easiest day but I have a light day tomorrow.” He sighed. “Hopefully.” The fire lit half his face and cast the rest in deep shadows. 

Worry was an ache in Ronan's gut but he didn't push his brother to see a healer. He knew how much he'd been through. 

“This is what you get for being born first, pal,” Matthew said, falling into a seat and grabbing a bread roll. “Should have been smart like me and come last. All I have to do is make sure my college runs smoothly and make friends with the nobles.”

Ronan heart skipped at the mention of the college. “Matthew, do you have the lists for the next test started?”

He nodded. “Oh yes. The test is in six months but the last chance to sign up was two weeks ago. I think we should give people more time but there is something about bureaucracy and planning.” He shrugged. “I kind of tune out at that point. They know what they’re doing.”

“Can I have a look at that list?”

“Why?”

Declan had stopped eating and was watching him with a frown. “Is this about the mystery man?”

“What mystery man? I heard you danced with someone but assumed they were mistaken since you haven’t danced since our lessons six years ago.” Matthew laughed, bright and easy. “I wish I hadn’t been so distracted to miss you dancing." He grinned, slowly widening as Declan words caught up to him. "A man? Who?”

“His name is private. He asked me not to tell anyone." Ronan sighed. "But if it was on the list, maybe it would help me track him down.”

"He's not a noble," Declan said quietly. 

"Oh." Matthew's face fell. "Oh, pal."

Ronan shrugged. "I just want to find him."

Declan examined him. “Does he want to be tracked down?”

“I don’t know.” Ronan mashed his potatoes mulishly. "I just want to talk to him again." He didn't look up because he knew he'd see pity in their eyes. "He probably doesn't want to be found."

“But you’re still going to, right pal? Track him down?”

Ronan nodded, ignoring Declan's tight expression. “Even if it is only to be rejected, yeah, I’m going to.”

***

Weeks passed slowly and the memory faded so much Adam was sure he had dreamt the whole thing. Still, he woke most mornings with a smile and spent each night with dreams of Prince Ronan. He was working late in the apothecary studying the Queen's blood three weeks after the ball when the bell above the door tinkled. Carefully closing the vial and making sure none of it could spill, he placed it into a drawer. 

Finally, Adam glanced up with a smile. "How can I help you?"

The man was dressed all in grey from his boots to the cape covering his grey suit. He smiled but it was oddly blank. "I'm here to see Maura." His eyes missed nothing; scanning the mahogany shelves which covers the stone walls, and the more dangerous herbs kept behind the glass counter. the lanterns which let the small space made it seem suddenly claustrophobic which such an unreadable presence. 

"Does she know you're coming?" He kept the counter between them, refusing to move for the moment. 

Before he could answer, Maura appeared at the bottom of the stairs with a flurry of noise and color. "Mr Grey, you're right on time."

Adam's memory tripped over the name, sure he'd heard it somewhere before. 

When he smiled at Maura, it lit up his whole face. "I was early but I walked around for a bit."

She laughed, bright and easy. "Shall we go?" 

"Lets. I made them keep us the best table in the inn."

She grinned again. "Wonderful. Adam, Blue's inside if you need her. I'll be back later."

Adam didn't miss how Mr Grey's eyes tightened at his name, or how he searched his face in recognition. 

He swallowed when he suddenly remembered where he'd heard the name before; Piper and Greenmantle had been discussing it the morning they'd found out about the ball. 

It took a long time after they'd left for Adam's pulse to slow its panicked beating. 

Later that evening, long after most of the world had gone to bed, Adam was chopping herbs in the stockroom of the apothecary when the bell rang again. He wiped his hands on his apron and went to meet the customer, hoping it wasn't Greenmantle here to drag him home, hoping Mr Grey hadn't ratted him out.  
They only stayed open late one night a week, a rule of the apothecaries across the city in case of emergencies. There were seven in this district so they’d long agreed on the days of opening. 

He smiled in relief when he didn't recognise the man by the counter. "Hey, how can I help you?"

“Oh, hello. I was wondering if it would be at all possible to speak to Blue?” The man ran a thumb across his lower lip and breathed out the scent of mint. “I met her at the ball. I meant to come sooner but with the Prince and his crusade…” The man trailed off. “Anyway, would it be possible to see her?”

Adam froze at the mention of the Prince and his apparent search for the man at the ball. Other apothecary owners had let them know of the questions, of course. It was lucky most didn't know who he was. He’d already instructed the women to lie if they asked questions. He was only eighty percent sure they actually would. 

"Would it be okay for me to speak to her?” The man asked again, a severe politeness coating the words. 

“Let me check,” Adam managed, heart a thump in his ears. He walked into the back of the shop and through to the kitchen. Blue sat drinking tea at the table, a suspicious glint to her eyes. “There’s a man here to see you.”

She glanced up. “Did mom say this was restorative or healing?”

“Neither. It’s for cramps.”

Blue nodded. “That makes sense then.” She took another sip. “Wait, a man? To see me?”

Adam nodded. 

A blush stained her cheeks. “What does he look like?”

“Tall. Posh." Adam shrugged "Wearing the most ugly teal…”

“Oh! It’s him,” Blue interrupted and patted up her hair. 

He grabbed her hand as she passed. “If he asks…”

“Your name is Adam, yes I know. I won’t mention your last name.”

Adam nodded and went back to the storeroom, finishing up with the herbs he was chopping and burying himself in the encyclopedia of poison he was currently studying, trying not to listen into the conversation but unable to help himself. 

“Oh, hello! It is you!” There was a vulnerability to the man’s politeness now like it was a shield he was happy to drop when he could. “I’m sorry about the delay in calling on you and the late hour.”

Blue laughed. “Gansey, hey! It’s fine. I’m here every Thursday night. We stay open for emergencies.”

“That must be boring." He sounded nervous. "How do you entertain yourself?”

“Adam keeps me good company. He’s smarter than I’ll ever be but I try to keep up.”

Adam recognised the man now as Gansey, Prince Ronan’s best friend, and he swallowed down the panic. 

“I can’t imagine someone beating you at a game of wits. You certainly kept me on my toes. What was it you said I called you?”

“A sex worker,” Blue sounded more amused than annoyed. “Considering all I was doing was eating the cakes, it was quite shocking.”

“I was searching for matches for Prince Ronan. I meant to ask you to come talk to him but I guess my words struggle to mean what I want when I’m around you.” He gave a self-deprecating laugh. “Now I’m glad you never spoke to him.”

“Not that I'm a noble, but thank you.” Adam knew she was blushing from the sound of Blue’s voice. “So, you called just to see me?”

“I did but I must also ask you some questions about your staff.” Regret filled his voice. “It was the only way I could sneak away. The prince has been searching for the man at the ball for weeks with no luck. We’ve asked almost all the apothecaries about him and his name is listed as having no family on the college test application.”

Blue snorted. “He’s gone that far to find him?”

“He was most taken.”

"Why doesn't he just ask the noble families? One of them must know him."

Gansey coughed, clearing his throat. "Well, he's not… He wasn't a noble after all, but the prince, well, he just wants to know him, maybe be friends with him."

Adam’s cheeks heated up. Friends with the prince seemed impossible. 

He was suddenly so glad he had realised that the prince would look at the entrance exam list, so glad he hadn’t put Greenmantle down as his family, so glad he told Blue to call him Adam and not mention Parrish. The exam had not requested his full name and so he was listed as Parrish, A.

Still, Prince Ronan was _most taken_. Prince Ronan was searching for him. Prince Ronan wanted him in his life. 

Adam’s heartbeat was a storm across his skin. 

He _ached_.

“Adam, c’mere for a second will you.”

Swallowing away his desire to admit who he was and see the prince again, Adam left the storeroom and entered the shop. “How can I help you?”

Blue smirked at him. “Have you heard of a Parrish in any of the other apothecaries? Prince Ronan danced with him at the ball and has been searching desperately since.”

“Sorry. I haven’t heard of him.” Adam fought against grinding his teeth at Blue’s smug overacting. “I’m sure the prince has his pick of partners though. He’ll move on.”

“I don’t know,” Gansey rubbed his lower lip again. “He seems quite focused. To be honest I’m just glad he’s no longer watching Joseph Kavinsky.”

Blue snorted. “That man is an asshole.”

Gansey choked in surprise. “Jane!”

“I told you not to call me that.”

“Yes, I know, but I quite like it.”

Blue rolled her eyes but Adam could see how pleased she was. 

He couldn’t help but ask, “The Prince and Joseph Kavinsky had a thing?” It seemed like something Joseph would brag about for days around the manor but maybe he’d learnt discretion for once. 

“No. God no. More an infatuation from afar. Not even an infatuation in the healthy sense,” he glanced at Blue and then back to Adam. “More like K had an obsession with him and Ronan a passing fancy.” Gansey stopped and fixed his wire framed glasses. “I probably shouldn’t be talking to you about the prince. He is very private.”

Adam shrugged. “Who are we going to tell it to? We know no one of importance. Sometimes you just need to talk to friends.”

Gansey smiled, bright and dazzling all pretense stripped away. “Friends? Oh brilliant! I’ll have to bring Noah next time I can drag him from the prince's side, you’ll like him. Cheng too. The prince rarely gets away but maybe…” 

Adam’s heart sank when he realised his mistake. Friends with Gansey meant being friends with his whole group making it harder and harder to hide his identity. Someone would mess up. Still, the sincerity of Gansey’s smile made him smile back too. 

“Friends," he said. 

Gansey grinned again and wandered over to examine the ingredients on a shelf.

Blue glanced at him and he shrugged helplessly. She laughed and whispered, “I did warn you. He’s sort of dazzling in the most annoying way.”

Adam chuckled and went over to guide Gansey through the different teas Maura sold and which ones to avoid. 

***

When Declan agreed to let Ronan announce a tournament for the spring equinox, Ronan was thrilled for the distraction. His search had been futile; five weeks  
with nothing. No one had heard of Parrish in the apothecaries and Ronan was loath to search him out further when he had seemed so desperate to remain anonymous. Even in the entrance exam list, he’d only referred to himself as Parrish, A. To distract himself, Ronan spent his free time training and riding and reading. He couldn’t search himself because of who he was so it was down to Gansey to do it for him. 

But no one knew anything. The loss bristled across his skin. 

It was the second time he had let this man go. 

He climbed onto his horse the day before the tournament and trotted across the yard, escaping out the back entrance to the fields beyond. Noah sat to one side on his golden mare, and Gansey to the other side on an orange stallion. Ronan’s charcoal stallion had been his father’s, but Declan had agreed it liked Ronan better anyway. Eighteen hands tall and broad across the shoulders, it was a terrifying sight when bearing down on a person. As soon as they were free of the grounds, Ronan clicked his tongue and they were galloping. Wind whipped across his face; cold and electrifying. A smile broke its way across his lips and a whoop of joy exploded free. He knew the others had no chance of catching up and that Noah would be pissed but he didn’t care. He needed these moments of freedom so that when he went back to the castle, and back to his persona of royalty, he could remember who he really was and what he really cared about. After half an hour, he slowed down his stallion, and settled into the saddle to wait for the others. 

He’d stopped between two fields, one golden with flowers and the other lilac. Lavender scented the air, reminding him of his mother. The ache had not eased, or healed, or passed. It was as present as the day they’d gotten the news about their father, as painful as when his mom went to sleep and never woke up. 

Ronan thought maybe he’d never feel whole again. 

Hoofbeats sounded behind him, and he swallowed back his tears, turning as he did to grin at Noah. “Getting slow in your old age.”

“Oh fuck you." Wind ruffled his pale hair. "You know you’re meant to stick with me.”

He shrugged. “Should be faster than.”

“Anyone could have jumped you out here.”

“No one can beat a Lynch brother but another Lynch brother, Noah. You know that.”

“I’m meant to be looking after you. If anything happens to you, Declan will kill me. And I mean that quite literally.”

Ronan smirked. “I left a note with my brother that we were going riding and I planned to leave you behind. You’d be fine.” He glanced down the road. “Where’s Gansey?”

Noah shrugged. “He was just behind me. Come on.”

They cantered down the road, pausing when they saw Gansey talking to a man and a woman a little way away. 

“Gansey, I thought we discussed you talking to strangers,” he called. 

The trio turned to look at him, and Ronan’s breath caught. The man's face fell slack with shock but he worked quickly to cover it up with a soft smile. 

It was him. 

It was Parrish. 

Gansey, oblivious to the obvious war on the other man's face, laughed. “Prince Ronan, this is Adam and Jane.”

The woman coughed. “Blue, sire. My name is Blue." Panic flickered over Adam’s face again before the woman stepped in front of him. “Prince Ronan, it’s so lovely to meet you.”

Ronan nodded, scared if he took his eyes off Parrish, he’d disappear again. “It’s a pleasure to meet you.” Long engraved manners took over as he fell into those blue eyes. “And you, Adam.”

Pink stained his cheeks. He didn’t quite look at Ronan when he said, “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Prince Ronan. Gansey has barely stopped singing your praises since we met him.”

“And where was that?” Noah asked, eyes taking in anything he might deem a threat. “We haven’t heard mention of you.”

Gansey snorted. “If we weren’t always talking about the Prince’s mystery man, I might have had a chance to tell you about my new friends.”

Ronan choked. 

Adam glanced at the ground as if hoping it would swallow him. 

Blue elbowed Gansey in the knee, the only place she could reach him on his horse. “Anyway, we should go. We have to pick supplies for the apothecary and Adam needs to get home before anyone notices he’s missing.”

“Missing?” Ronan managed.

Adam finally met Ronan’s eyes. “The household I work for isn't aware I’m out, or that I work for the apothecary,” his words held a warning as well as a plea. “So, we must get back as soon as possible.”

They started up the road, bowing respectfully to Ronan as they passed. 

Desperate, he called out, “Will you be at the tournament tomorrow?”

Adam glanced back, biting his lip. “I will try but I can’t be sure.” Before disappointment could drown Ronan, he promised, “It won’t be lack of wanting that would keep me away.”

Ronan smiled; bright and elastic. “I’ll win the cup for you.”

“Just try not to fall off your horse.”

Ronan laughed, and Blue pulled Adam away, whispering into his ear even as they disappeared into the field of lavender. 

“Did you know him?” Gansey asked, having climbed back onto his horse. “He’d seemed very familiar with you.”

Ronan shrugged, excitement a lightning storm in his stomach. “I don’t but I’d like to get to know him.”

Noah smirked beside him. “Forgotten the man at the ball already?”

“Oh fuck you.”

Noah thrilled with a smirk. “Ha! I knew it!”

“Knew what?” Gansey asked, clearly confused. 

“He knows nothing, do you, Noah?”

“No, my liege." Noah laughed. "Not a damn thing.”

Ronan laughed and set off back to the castle. He had a tournament to win. 

***  
Mere weeks after they met Gansey, and he'd already run into the Prince. Something inside of Adam quaked when he thought of the Prince astride a horse, examining him as if he were water in a desert. Adam did not know what to do with such unbridled longing. 

He was nothing but the unwanted son of an unloving family. 

Ronan Lynch was second in line to the throne. 

Blue kept glancing at him to check he was okay, but she hadn’t asked, and he was grateful. He barely knew himself. Seeing the Prince had been a cold water on a slumbering body, and he felt alive in an almost overwhelming way. Everything felt closer, louder, more immediate. He wondered if it would always be like this with Ronan and then wondered when he had started thinking of this as something he could have. 

He wasn't a noble. He never would be. 

No matter what the prince said, or how he had looked at Adam, he was still the prince and Adam was still just Adam. The nobles would be able to see the poverty on him; read it from the dirt encasing his fingernails and in his ragged clothes and his unkempt hair. Even if they dressed him in the finest of clothes, his manners and his accent would reveal who he really was. The dirt he’d been born from and was desperately trying to escape would shine through always. 

Adam would never be good enough for a prince. 

Prince Matthew’s college was his only way out and he refused to risk that by allowing Ronan to show interest in him. He couldn’t allow anything to happen until he was free of Greenmantle and the others. He had to make a success of himself before he could start on anything else. 

Blue handed him a linen. “Wrap some lavender up in that, would you?”

He nodded and got to work, still able to feel Ronan’s eyes on his face. 

When he snuck back into the manor later, it was still quiet. Greenmantle and Piper were spending the day in the castle, reveling in the pre-tournament celebrations, and networking no doubt. Joseph and Tad were practicing for their own events in the castle yard. They were probably disappointed that Ronan hadn’t been there to see them preen. Although maybe that was just Joseph. Tad seemed quite happy with his friendship with Prince Matthew. So far, he hadn’t done anything untoward but Adam worried about how he seemed to be trying to become his confidant. It spoke of future deeds that would be unworthy of such a kind and considerate Prince.

Adam knew he should tell someone, but he didn’t know how without alerting them of how he knew. He wasn’t even sure who he would tell. Gansey probably knew who he was now, and Ronan’s guard clearly recognised him. Maybe even the king knew. 

Adam swallowed a mug of water and ignored how his hands trembled. He did not understand how he had managed to become even slightly connected to the king. A door slamming alerted him to the arrival of the others and he went back to chopping the vegetables as Beth, the cook, continued to make dinner. He didn’t know the woman very well, only that she always made sure to keep him a little extra and never complained when he was late back to the kitchen to help her. 

That was enough to liken him to her. 

“Poorboy!" K sounded livid, rage saturating the word. "C’mere!”

Adam put the knife down with a sign. “Sorry, Beth. I’ll be back as soon as I can.” 

She waved him away, taking his place in front of the chopping board. 

Joseph stood in the entrance hall, clothes reeking of sweat and muscles trembling. “I need a bath and a drink.”

Adam refrained from rolling his eyes. He poured him a whiskey and then took the stairs two at a time to escape the forbidding presence. Today clearly had not gone well for Joseph. Refusing to let the man’s mood bring him down, Adam got the bath ready and went back to the lounge where Joseph was staring moodily into the fire. 

He waited by the door, far out of reach. “Your bath is ready.”

Joseph nodded. “Does he think I’m a fool? He disappears with Gansey and his guard and comes back smiling more than I’ve seen in months. Does he think we don’t realise that he's clearly fucking him?”

Adam flinched. “I don’t know.”

“You wouldn’t, would you?" K snarled. "You’re an idiot who can barely read. What use are you but to run baths and pour drinks?”

“Your bath is probably getting cold.” Adam's cheeks burned.

“And if it does, you’ll just fill it back up again, won’t you?”

Adam nodded. Tears choked him but he refused to show anything but his impassive face. He tried to figure out the best thing to say, the thing that would diffuse the threat permeating on the air, but he couldn’t think over the panic ringing in his ears when Joseph stalked over to him. 

“Tomorrow, you’ll be my stable boy." He stood so close, his breath warmed Adam's face. "You’ll help me with my armor and my horse and follow me two paces behind as is your place. Do you understand?”

Adam swallowed. “Yes.”

“Good.” He shoved his glass into Adam’s chest. “Dinner better be almost ready.”

When he’d stalked from the room, Adam allowed a shaky sigh to escape his lips. He lowered himself onto the arm of the seat, aware that his knees were shaking. Joseph had not hit him for a while but the fear never quite left him. 

“Four more months,” Adam whispered to himself before heading back to the kitchen. 

***

Ronan stalked towards K’s tent before the final competition with war dancing across his skin. He’d seen K cheat in the last match and the insult to the crown and to his father’s memory roared across his skin like a blaze. His father had created this tournament to allow everyone a chance to succeed, to lift themselves up from where they began. It allowed people to join the guard, to become advisers, to earn titles and lands. 

It was how Noah and Ronan got paired up when they were fourteen. 

He ripped the curtain open and stalked into the cramped space. Noah followed behind him and stood by the opening. “K, what the hell was that?”

K smirked. “That was me winning.”

“You cheated.”

"Prove it.” He stood in front of his mirror, armor half on. “Poorboy, what's your problem? Never seen royalty before? Get my armor fixed before the next round.”

The man stepped from the shadows, chest piece shining in his hands. “I was just making sure the pieces weren’t damaged, Joseph.”

Ronan knew that voice, but before he could say anything, Adam just barely shook his head. The eyes that glanced Ronan’s way were pleading. Ronan swallowed and turned back to K. 

“You can’t cheat your way into my arena, Joseph." Ronan was so furious, he wanted to lash out, do real damage, but the prince couldn't be seen to be brawling. "I should throw you out of the competition.”

Kavinsky laughed a curt, bright noise. “But you can’t prove it, Ronan.”

Adam tensed where he stood in front of K, tightening the straps of the armor. 

The tent was silent enough to hear when Noah removed his sword. “Sir, I've warned you before about insolence towards my prince.”

Ronan put a hand out. “We’ve discussed my title before, Kavinsky. You will respect me and my throne or there will be consequences.” 

Adam kept working, meekly and quietly. It was a side Ronan never wanted to see of him again. Fury at the sight pounded against his skull and he took a deep breath to control it. Adam obviously did not want Ronan to acknowledge him and if he was to gain the man’s trust that he had to do what he wanted. 

K shoved Adam’s hand away and pushed him into the material of the tent. Pink stained Adam’s cheeks and he looked away from Ronan, shame written clearly across his face. Ronan wanted to hug him, to whisper that this meant nothing, to take him away from here, but instead he stared at K, fisting his hands in frustration. 

He couldn’t help but ask, “Is there a reason you must treat your stable boy so poorly?”

K snorted. “Poorboy is barely worth my time, let alone yours. Don’t worry about someone as insignificant as the dirt beneath our shoes.”

Adam curled in on himself as he gathered up the rest of K’s armor. 

“K, you cheated,” Ronan managed but rage made the words a harsh growl. “I will allow you to take part in this final round because I refuse to let your inability to perform with honor tarnish the reputation of a much loved competition. But this will be the last tournament you will ever take part in.”

“You can’t do that!”

“It’s my competition." Ronan stepped forward, taller by an inch and radiating power. "It's my tournament. I can do what I want.”

K took a step towards Ronan, chest pressing against his, but there was a sword in his throat before he could do anything else.

“Step away from my Prince, sir.” Noah’s voice was cold. “Or I will spill your blood on the dirt.”

No one moved for a long moment. It seemed to Ronan no one even took a breath. 

Finally, K took a step back and bowed. “My apologies, Prince Ronan. I meant no ill will towards you, or your dear father, my dear departed King. I will of course accept your judgement on my actions as you deem necessary.”

Ronan nodded curtly, and stealing one last glance at Adam, he strode from the tent.

***

Adam barely breathed as he finished putting on K’s armor. When Ronan had strode into the tent, fury and fire written across his skin, Adam had been torn between wanting to kiss him again and wanting to hide. The sounds of revelry outside did nothing to ease the tension in the tent. 

K fiddled with the straps of his armor and glanced down at Adam. “How is it you know the Prince?”

Adam’s hands stuttered and then continued. “I don’t know him. That is the first time I have met him.” 

“That seems like a lie," he hummed. "Because he looked at you like he knew you.”

“I don’t know.” Adam swallowed back his panic and kept his voice calm. “Maybe I looked like someone he knew.”

K grabbed Adam’s chin and tilted his face up. He examined him for a long moment. “You better not be lying to me, Adam. Because I will find out and I will make you pay.”

“I’m not lying.” He pulled his chin free. “You’re all done. I better go tend to your horse.”

Hands shaking, he left the tent. 

It was hours later in the apothecary that the full horror of what had happened hit him. K knew he was hiding something and he wouldn't stop until he revealed it to the world. Prince Ronan had seen him at his worse, beaten down and nothing but a lowly stable boy, a servant. Any interest he had in Adam at the party would fade to nothing now. Adam knew he should be grateful, should be glad that he could focus back on his studies and his savings and his plan, but a little part of him ached to know that he would never look up to find Ronan already looking at him. 

The bell rang and Adam glanced up. “How can I help you?”

Prince Ronan stood by the door, smiling gently. 

Adam swallowed, his throat suddenly dry and aching. “What are you doing here?”

“I just wanted to see you." He glanced around the shop, red staining his pale cheeks. "Check you were okay.”

“I’m fine. Joseph is… He’s just like that.” Adam tightened his hand on his knife and put it down. “Are you here for something in particular?”

Ronan tilted his head, biting at the leather bracelets around his wrist. "Just you. I missed you after the tournament.”

“Joseph didn’t want to stick around after you beat him.” Adam didn't mention the rage Kavinsky had fallen into after the contest, throwing his armor off. Adam was lucky he hadn't been struck. 

“I knew he was cheating because he rarely gets so far.”

“He was trying to impress you.” Adam rolled his eyes and threw a cloth over his herbs. “I suppose since you're here, I should offer you some tea.” 

Ronan grinned. “Tea would be nice.”

“Where’s your guard?”

“Outside. He was less than pleased with my plan. But he either agreed or I snuck out alone.” Ronan shrugged. “He decided it would be better if he came.”

Adam rolled his eyes. “I am not worth you putting yourself in danger.”

“I will decide what you are worth to me.”

Unsure how to respond to such a naked compliment, Adam led Ronan to his tiny room at the back of the apothecary. It held a small bed, his books and a desk. A small fire burned in the grate and a kettle boiled above it. 

“This is your room?”

Adam nodded his head and then sighed. “Not yet but it will be when I join the prince’s college. Joseph’s family won't support me in going and so I’ve made alternative arrangements.” Sudden panic rang as clear as a bell. “Don’t tell anyone about it. Please. Until I'm out, I can’t let anyone know.”

Ronan trailed a finger along the uneven wall. “You would trust me with this?”

Adam nodded, hiding his blushing as he poured two cups of tea he had brewed himself.

“Can’t you leave now? Get away from them now?" Quiet fury laced the words. "The way he spoke to you, Parrish.”

The warmth from the use of his name did nothing to ease the fear at Ronan’s words. “Lynch, if I leave now and they drag me back, I won’t get another chance. But once I'm a member of the prince’s college, they won’t be able to make me leave. Do you understand? I have to wait until they cannot touch me before I go.”

“I could ensure that.”

Adam stood. “And then what? All my work, all my studying and late nights, everything I’ve done, worth nothing. If you save me now, what happens next time, when you’re not there?”

“I'll always be there for you.”

“You can’t promise such a thing. You do not even know me." He ran his hand through his hair. "You're getting married, do you really think your husband will want you being around someone like me?"

"Someone like you?" Ronan took the cups from Adam and placed them on the desk. "You're not less than me, Adam."

He blinked away sudden tears. "Don't. You are my prince, second in line to the throne. I'm nothing." He took in a shuddering breath. "What about when you get bored of this fancy? When I'm not who you thought? Then what? I'm left to fend for myself. Alone.”

Ronan shook his head. “That won’t happen.”

“I think you should leave.” Adam already knew how this story ended, and he wanted it done. He wanted to go back to the life he'd had and the life he was building. "This is a bad idea."

Ronan nodded, and Adam's heart shattered at the easy acceptance. 

He was at the door, and Adam back at his chopping board before he spoke again in a quiet whisper. “Can I come back?”

It took Adam a moment to build up the courage to answer him. “I’m here every night.”


	3. Night

Despite Adam's doubts, Ronan kept visiting. 

Always on different days and at different times. They talked about nothing in particular, laughing at stupid jokes and daring each other to try stunts. Ronan's presence was warmth and laughter, and not feeling so alone all the time. Sometimes Adam would glance up and Ronan would already be looking at him. It made butterflies explode in his stomach. Having the attention of the prince felt like a dangerous and addictive thing. It made Adam want to yell out that he was worth something to have caught the attention of Prince Ronan Lynch. 

A few weeks after Ronan's first visit, the bell above the shop door rang and Adam glanced up, smile already forming. It fell and shattered like glass when he saw who stood in the doorway. 

Mr Grey examined him, lips tightening at the edges. "Mr Parrish, I thought I might find you here."

Adam swallowed but didn't say anything. He just clutched at the edge of the worktop and stared at his visitor. 

"You see I have some acquaintances at the castle who seem to think the prince has been visiting you." 

Adam put his suddenly shaking hands behind his back. "What do you want, sir?"

"I want you to understand the danger you're putting yourself in." He spoke kindly but with a hint of impatience. "Your stepfather is not a nice man. He's a spider in the middle of a web. He twitches and everything you've built disappears." Mr Grey took a step into the shop and the door shut with an echoing click. "And I know how hard you've been working to escape his web."

"Why are you telling me this?" He hated that his voice came out as a hoarse whisper. 

"Because if I can figure out where the prince has been going than Greenmantle sure as hell can." 

"You work for him," Adam accused. "Why should I even believe you?"

"Worked. Past tense." His face shuttered further, almost reminding Adam of a doll's face with how blank it became. "I paid a king's ransom to free myself from his clutches and I will never go back." 

Adam had the horrifying realisation that Mr Grey has just admitted to the murder of the king. He took an involuntarily step back. 

"Smarter than Greenmantle realises," he smiled sharply. "You can't have the life you've been working for and keep the friendship of the prince."

"Are you threatening me?"

Mr Grey laughed. "Just a concerned party. Maura cares about you and I care about her."

The shop was suddenly too small, smelling too strongly of sage and mint. Shelves and shelves of bottles made the space even smaller. Adam heaved in a shuddering breath. Everything he'd worked for; every sleepless night, every moment desperately studying, every lie and broken promise to keep going, it would've all been for nothing if Greenmantle caught him now. 

He shoved it away and asked the most important question, "Are the princes in danger?"

"If I have spies than he definitely does and with more reach than mine." Mr Grey leaned against the shop door and crossed his arms. "Adam, you're putting yourself in danger. Greenmantle will find out. He will punish you, or force you to join in his schemes. He won't let you go. He'll never let you go. Not now you have the prince's ear." 

Adam nodded. 

"Powerful friends bring powerful enemies." Mr Grey moved off the door and opened it, looking back just once. "Be careful, Adam. They're all watching." 

It took a long time for Adam's hands to stop trembling. 

***  
Ronan couldn't sleeping. 

Nightmares had torn him free of what little he had stolen, and sick to death of waking in his own sweat and fear, he got up and sat in front of the fire. He wanted to ride, he wanted to drink, and run, and scream, but Noah was sleeping in his rooms and Ronan didn’t want to wake him. Biting his bracelets, he stared into the fire and considered what he could do to help Adam. It was easier than focusing on the roiling storm of grief tearing him apart. Easier than thinking of all the ways his life would never be the same; all the birthdays and Christmases and tournaments, the conversations they’d never have and the hugs he’d never give. His mom would love Adam. His dad would have debated him. 

The missed moments sometimes hurt more than the ones they’d had. 

A knock on his door startled him. “Come in.”

“Oh, good, you're awake. I saw the light under your door and hoped.” Declan looked wrecked; heavy bags sat under his eyes and his jaw was clenched with stress. Pale skin made him older than he was and his hair stuck up in tufts. “Can I join you?”

Ronan nodded and sat back in front of the fire. “Nightmares?”

“Usual. You?”

He nodded and then spoke the words he'd been avoiding, “I haven’t found out who killed them yet.”

“We will. The plan to lure them into a false sense of security is good.” He smirked suddenly. “You can practice your patience.”

“Oh fuck you.”

Declan laughed. “Any sign of your mystery man?”

“His name is Adam. He works at the apothecary at the corner of Nino Street. He’s smart and brave and determined, ambitious and stubborn, independent. Won’t let me help him. Wants to do it all himself.”

“You sound like you admire him.”

“I do but…” He scrubbed his hand over the stubble on his scalp. “I recognise a face when it’s about to break. When there are so many lines, it’s about to crack. I’ve seen it enough times in the mirror to know how little a person has left to give.” He shrugged. “I can’t do anything. He refuses my help, my protection. He wants to take the exam and get in on his own merit.”

Declan watched him with a small smile. “What about his family?”

“Apparently he works for K’s family.”

“You’re sure he’s honorable?”

Ronan nodded. “The times I offered him anything, he seemed almost insulted. When I saw him with K, he pretended not to know me, and when I visited him in the apothecary, he made me promise I wouldn’t tell them he worked there. If he is scheming with them, he’s covering his tracks well and asking for nothing.”

“Except your time and company.”

Ronan shook his head. “I’ve tracked him down every time. Even the night of the ball, he deemed himself not worthy of me.”

“So, he’s trapped with them?”

“Until the entrance exam.”

"Ronan, you know you can't...." Whatever expression he saw on Ronan's face made him stop. He tapped his fingers on the arm of the chair. “Did Noah go with you when you visited him?”

“Obviously. We don’t stick to a schedule. Infrequent and unplanned.”

“I worry.”

“No one is taking anything else from this family, Dec.” Ronan stared into the flames. “No one.”

***

Adam stared down at the papers in his hands and swallowed convulsively. 

Mr Grey had been right; someone had been tracking the prince. He’d been reading Greenmantle’s papers for years, learning what he could about how the nobles worked and how the court politics played out. Anything to prepare him better for the college and the jobs after. He hoped to become an adviser to the council or a court politician. Something guaranteed to help him make a living. Usually there was nothing of much interest but today held the power to destroy everything Adam had been working for. The words had been hastily scrawled. Blobs of black ink littered the cream pages. Most of the information was the usual gossip and bickering between nobles, but the last paragraph caught Adam’s attention. 

_Prince Ronan has been leaving the castle one night a week for the past four weeks. Never on the same day and never at the same time. Should we put someone on him to find out where he is going?_

There was no signature. There never was. 

Adam had yet to find out who was sending the letters. 

He threw them into the kitchen fire and watched them curl at the edges before dissolving to ash. He never knew when Ronan was going to appear but he had turned up every week for the last five. Adam had been sure after that first week when they'd argued that it would be the end of it but he kept coming back. They talked about nothing really; books and games, different events and festivals, even the herbs Adam was working with. It comforted him to get to know the prince, to have a friend that was all his. Gansey called around more too, but he mostly wanted to see Blue. Although, after he found Adam reading the newest book by a retired court politician, he had begun talking to Adam about the politics in the court. They were enjoyable conversations where they tried to best each other in mental gymnastics, but in a way that seemed more friendly than competitive. 

Adam felt known for once in his life. It was as exhilarating as it was terrifying. 

He watched the flames for too long before deciding that the only thing he could do would be to tell Ronan to stop seeing him. Panic flared at the thought of Greenmantle finding out that Adam knew the prince, had been speaking to him, had been working in the apothecary. Everything he had build up would disappear in barely a moment. 

As much as it hurt, he would have to tell Ronan to stay away. 

Mr Grey was right. 

It was four days later and he was working with the Queen’s blood when Gansey knocked on the apothecary door. He hadn’t seen Ronan since finding out there was a spy in the castle, and his panic had been increasing every day. Relief flooded him as he let Gansey in; he could pass the message on through him and Ronan wouldn’t have to come here at all. 

Desperate disappointment followed the relief. 

He would miss Ronan more than he was willing to admit. Only three more months and he’d be in the college and maybe, _maybe_ , they could be friends again. 

Gansey sat on a stool on the other side of the worktop and smiled. “Adam, how are you getting on?”

He didn’t look up from the magnifying glass. He and Persephone had been working for months to figure out the exact poisons used to kill the Queen in the hope they could create an antidote. They had three of what they thought was probably four poisonous herbs, and he was so close to figuring it out. "I'm the same. Working. Studying."

Gansey choked and when Adam glanced up he was wiping his glasses frantically. “Is that the Queen’s blood?” 

“Are you okay?” He was startled by the reaction, so used to dealing with the vials. 

“She was my best friend's mother and someone I greatly admired." He wiped his eyes and ran a hand through his hair. "She was… is missed.”

Adam swallowed away his sudden guilt. Of course, Gansey had known the Queen. “I’m sorry, I didn’t think.” He glanced down but he couldn’t cover the blood. It was too precious. They only had one vial left out of five, and as far as he knew, it was all that was left in the city. “I can put it away if you want.”

Gansey shook his head and rubbed his thumb across his lower lip, putting on what Adam now recognised as his scholarly face. “Explain to me what your doing. As far as I knew all the blood had been used.”

Adam snorted. "We didn't rush in with the hope of a royal favour." He shook his head remembering how wasteful the other apothecaries had been when the blood was first sent out. “Persephone and I didn’t start using the blood straight away like everyone else seemed to. We waited. Planned out what we thought. We studied all the books on herbs we could find and took down every single one we thought could be poison.”

“You knew it was poison?”

Adam shook his head. “It didn’t take long for the others to declare the queen was poisoned. And of course we doubled checked.”

“How?”

“A leech. Drank the blood." He shrugged. "Died. A simple but effective test.”

“The other apothecaries did the same test.” Gansey was examining Adam’s set up. “They told us she’d been poisoned but they said there was no way to find out what the poisons were. Some wanted to exhume her.” He shivered. “That man is not allowed near the castle again.”

Adam snorted. “I can imagine.” He knocked away Gansey’s reaching hand. “Contaminants.”

“So what did you do?”

“Persephone wrote to a friend across the ocean. She had dappled in chemistry and poisons, knew how to detect them. She explained to us how to create a book of poisons using a special type of paper she sent us.”

Gansey examined the thick book resting between them. “It’s huge.”

“That’s why it’s taken us four vials of blood and six months. We had to list all the poisons that would kill the queen the way she died, gather them all, and create the paper to test them. This is our seventh book.”

“Adam, this is… Do the princes know? Does the king?”

He shook his head. “No point telling them until we’ve figured it out. That and the antidote. We know three, and we are almost certain it's only four. The poisons worked in intricate balance with each other. Once we started figuring them out, we were able to then cross off some and add others.” He ran a hand across the back of his head. “We don’t think the last one was a poison. We think it is some form of sedative. A kindness. It put the queen in a coma while the others did their work.”

Gansey nodded. “She fell ill on Monday, was asleep by Tuesday and never regained consciousness.”

“How long was she asleep for?”

“Seven days.”

Adam made a note of the times. “Is there anything else? Did she eat anything strange? Did anything happen?”

“It was the same week the King was murdered." Gansey let out a shuddering breath, and then straighten suddenly, face passive. The wind howled outside the apothecary and rain shattered against the window. "She hadn’t eaten anything at all.”

He didn't say anything for a long moment as he considered the information. He was grateful Gansey gave him the space to think. “So, maybe her empty stomach sped up the process. Maybe she wasn’t meant to die but to fall into a constant sleep. Leave the kingdom in unrest.”

“No child can take the throne until both the King and Queen are dead," Gansey whispered.

“They were hoping to steal the throne from them.”

“Adam, this is dangerous talk." He rubbed his lip again. "You’re talking about a political coup.”

Adam nodded. “Don’t you feel it, Gansey?”

“Feel what?”

“Observed.”

Gansey startled but didn't reply to Adam's statement. “Can the poison be put into anything? Food or liquid?”

Adam allowed him his ignorance although the willful blindness irritated him. “From what we have found, we think it has to be water. Everything else stops the poisons from interacting.” Adam tapped his fingers on the counter. “I need you to pass a message to Prince Ronan. Tell him he can’t come here anymore. My step father has spies in the castle and they’ve noticed him leaving. I can’t be caught talking to him. It will destroy everything I have built.” Adam didn't know whether or not to mention Mr Grey. When he knew, he would tell Ronan to his face. It was the only kind thing he could do with such news. 

“You’ve been meeting with Prince Ronan?”

Adam swallowed away the sudden spike of betrayal and disappointment. Ronan hadn’t told his closest friend. “Yes. But if he wanted it to remain a secret, you must keep it that way.”

“I have been his friend for a long time, Adam. I have always kept his secrets.” Gansey examined him and finally said, “Don’t hurt him, Adam.”

Adam twisted his fingers together, his mind racing away from him like a galloping horse. “I’m not an idiot, Gansey.”

“I’m serious. You don’t know him as long as I have. He’s not as tough as he seems.”

“I’m _not an idiot_ , Gansey.” Anger flared in his chest but he pushed it aside with easy practice. “Not that it matters if he didn’t even tell you. Just tell him to not come here anymore. I can’t get caught.”

“You think that’ll be enough to stop him?”

“If he knows me at all, if he cares about me at all, then yes. That should be all it takes.”

Gansey nodded and Adam went back to his work. 

***

The council meeting was a torture device and Ronan hated them. He was only here to update them on the new regiments training, how the soldiers were doing defending the borders and what he expected in the coming months. They sat around a long tables; thirteen councilors all from the noble families discussing what the country needed as if they hadn't lived a life of luxury away from real work. As if Ronan hadn't. 

It felt a lot like hypocrisy and he hated it. 

He’d been here three hours and he was still three items away from his turn to talk. Something about Declan’s smug expression told Ronan how amusing he found it when Ronan was made to suffer through these discussions as well. Whelk stood behind Declan, handing him papers and water when he gestured. 

The discussion ended with a series of aye’s and the banging of the gravel. 

Whoever gave that thing to Greenmantle deserved to be taken out back and made to clean out the stables. 

Greenmantle cleared his throat. “Your highness, this is off topic but we have discussed it among ourselves and we would like an update to the Prince’s upcoming nuptials. He hasn’t been seen courting anybody, and unrest in the commoners is gathering. They feel they have lost out on the opportunity of a celebration.” He smiled sanguinely. “I, for one, have my wonderful son to present to the Prince. It may be better, your highness, to choose from one of the noble families sitting at this table as they already understand the harsh realities of governing.”

K sat beside his father and smirked. Fluttering candlelight cast his face in shadow. 

Tension straightened Ronan’s back, but he smiled as friendly as he could. He had been trained in dealing with nobles and councilors since he was a babe. He could deal with Greenmantle and K. “I will choose my partner, Councilman, from the noble families," he said in a friendly but firm tone. Not rude but still a full stop on the topic. "And when I court someone it will be in private until we are ready to be in the public eye. The commoners I have met have been quite understanding about this. They were just pleased for the ball.”

Greenmantle’s smile flickered but remained in place. “Of course, my prince. We just worry for your well-being. You must be lonely, and we all know you don’t partake in the wares of others.”

“What an interesting way to say I do not pay for my sex, Councilman.”

Declan cleared his throat so quietly that only Ronan heard him. 

“I appreciate your thoughts on the issue,” Ronan continued, anger flaring across his skin. “And I will take them into consideration.”

Greenmantle nodded, knowing a dismissal when he saw it. 

He may be powerful among his little friends and nobles, but Ronan was royalty. No one would question him when he shut down an issue. K winked at him. Ronan glanced away, and tuned out the meeting again with thoughts of Adam’s laugh. When the meeting finally let up, Ronan felt a tap on his elbow. Since Noah would let no one but trusted friends touch him without permission, he said, “Gansey.”

“Can we talk?”

Ronan glanced around the room. K and his step father were in deep discussion by the door. Declan was caught with two council people, trying to argue some point or another. “Not here. Let’s go to my private rooms.” He nodded at a pageboy. “Can you tell the kitchen I’ll have lunch in my rooms and I’ll need enough for three.” 

The boy nodded and darted from the room. 

Ronan moved past K, smirking when the other man stepped back with a bow. 

“My liege, it is, as always, a pleasure to be in your company.”

“Greenmantle. Kavinsky.” Ronan slid his eyes over the two men, and was suddenly hit with a deep, pulsing suspicion. It was something about the red patches staining K’s sharp cheekbones and the stiff manor Greenmantle held himself. “Everything okay, gentlemen?”

“Always, my Prince. Just discussing our servant, Adam.” Greenmantle examined him as he spoke; sharp eyes that missed nothing. “Totally useless boy. Can barely read.”

Ronan was a prince; he hadn’t worn his emotions on his face since he was six. “I believe I met him the day of the tournament. Disappointing you lost that day, K.”

Frustration changed the shape of Greenmantle’s mouth before he smiled. “You know my son. Ambitious to a fault and yet no follow through.” 

Ronan nodded, something like pity flaring up at the tone in Greenmantle's voice. “It was lovely to see you both, but I do have a lunch to get to.” He nodded towards Gansey who stood back far enough to be respectable but close enough to have heard the conversation. He was clearly deep in thought as he absorbed their words. “I’m sure I’ll see you both soon.”

They bowed, slightly too high to be respectable, but Ronan didn’t bother calling them on it. There were times to remind the nobles of their positions but here wasn’t it. They walked the hallways in silence. No one spoke until they’d passed the guards situated outside his quarters. Lunch was already waiting on his table. 

He fell into his seat and picked up a piece of bread. Gansey was staring at the food in his hand. 

“It’s all been tested, Gansey," Ronan said, taking a bite. "You know we set up tasters after what happened to mom.”

Gansey shifted in his seat, wood scrapping against the stone floor before his fingers came up to mess with the stem of his goblet. “I went to see Adam.”

Ronan froze. “Okay?”

“I've been courting Blue," he continued, failing to make eye contact. "I have struck up a friendship with Adam." He tapped the stem with long fingers before finally raising his eyes. "Why didn’t you tell me you’d been visiting with him? It’s not safe, Ronan. There are clearly people plotting against your family.”

Noah paused, food halfway to his mouth, and glared at Gansey. “It was the prince’s business. He will always be safe with me.”

“I never doubted it, Noah.” An apology. “Adam is working with your mother’s blood.”

Ronan pushed his plate away. “All the apothecaries were. None of them were much use.”

“He has figured out three of the poisons, and is working on what he believes to be the last one. He is hoping to create an antidote.” He ran his thumb across his lip. “He is quite brilliant. The intricacy of the work. The patience required. No one else even managed to get further than confirming the queen was murdered.”

Ronan felt a surge of pride and a sweep of nausea. “You’re not telling me something.”

“He asked me to tell you not to visit him anymore," Gansey replied with a sigh. "Someone knows your leaving the castle and he fears his stepfather will find out. Greenmantle had gossips.”

It was easy enough to put it together; Adam had told him enough of his stepfathers behavior these last few weeks. “Greenmantle has spies.”

Gansey tilted his head in agreement. 

Noah rubbed his hands clean on his napkin and stood quite suddenly. “Stay with him," he said to Gansey. "Stay here. I will be back as soon as I can.” He turned to Ronan. “You do not leave this room until I return, okay?”

Examining the flush of anger rising up his neck and the sharp tilt of his brows, Ronan nodded. “Send me my brothers.”

Noah nodded, and left. 

“What was that about?”

“They thought they had cleared all the leaks from the castle after my parents." Ronan took a long drink from his wine. "Noah is about to become a ghost again. He will have someone new guard me until he returns and the castle is safe again.”

Gansey nodded. Neither of them liked the more violent side to Noah’s duties; the way they made him pale and insubstantial, made him cold like he was dead. 

“There’s more, isn't there?” Ronan asked, suddenly exhausted by all of them. He wanted to grieve for his parents, and get to know Adam, and fall in love without the rules binding him to a noble he had no interest in. 

“Better I wait until Declan and Matthew get here.”

Ronan nodded. “What did Adam say?”

“I think he was disappointed you hadn’t told me about your visits." Gansey carefully cut up a slice of chicken but didn't eat it. "Why didn’t you tell me?”

“He didn’t want anyone knowing. It was the least I could do after tracking him down and visiting him and putting everything he worked for at risk.”

The cackling fire was the only noise for a long moment. 

“Couldn’t he just leave?”

Ronan shook his head. “His pride will not let him. He must do it himself.”

“But we could help him.”

“Then it wouldn’t be his,” Ronan signed and then smiled when Matthew charged into the room. “You look like you’ve been riding.”

“I have and I’m starving." He shucked off his jacket and rubbed sweaty hair from his forehead. "I was with Tad. Much nicer than K.” 

Ronan and Gansey shared a look over Matthew’s head. He didn’t notice, too busy filling a plate with food.

“We went down to his estate and he showed me their crops, and their harvests. The house is old but so beautiful. Piper, his mother, is so polite and funny. She is so funny.” He smiled around a bite of chicken. “She doesn’t seem anything like a normal mother. She laughed when I told her that and thanked me for the compliment.” He shook his head, confused. “It was fun.”

Declan came in before Ronan could reply. Still, it sat uneasy the thought of Matthew in K’s house. Like a hen in a burrow of foxes. 

“Thank god you have food. I’m starving." Ronan couldn't help but notice the weight he had lost. "What’s this about, Ronan?” He filled his plate as he spoke, already eating a bread roll as he did. 

Ronan swallowed away his comment about Declan's health. It would not be suitable here. No matter how close he was to Gansey, and he was practically a brother, Declan was King and his health was a private matter between princes. Instead he said, “There are spies in the castle again.”

Declan put his plate down with a firm click. “Fuck.”

“What do we do?” Matthew asked, eyes darting between his two older brothers. 

“Noah has turned into a ghost. He’ll update us in a few days.”

Declan nodded. “Good.”

Ronan glanced at Gansey and waited for him to talk. 

Gansey put down his cutlery. “What I’m about to say cannot leave this room. It cannot leave the four of us.” He took a mint leaf from his pocket and rested it on his tongue gently. “Adam, my friend, is the last apothecary to still have some of the queens blood left.”

Declan pushed his fill plate away just as Ronan had done. Matthew stuck his hands against his legs and Ronan knew he was kneading his thighs. 

“Go on,” Declan said cautiously. He was the king now. No longer a brother. “What has he discovered.”

“Adam believes there are four components to the poison. I can get him to write it up for you, or have him come to the castle to give you an oral report.” Gansey ignored Ronan’s sharp glance. “That might be better. Wouldn’t want the letter to get into the wrong hands.”

“Dick,” Ronan interrupted, using a childhood name rarely uttered anymore. “You’ve stopped telling us anything useful.”

Gansey nodded. “Adam believes that the poison was not meant to kill your mother but put her into an eternal sleep. He believes that by doing that it would have prevented Declan from having a claim to the throne and given the perpetrator the opportunity to steal the throne from you.”

Declan ran shaking hands through his hair. The crown crashed to the ground and spun across the stone. No one picked it up but they all watched it spin until it settled and silence fell. “These are heavy accusations for a man who has no formal education nor political knowledge.”

Gansey nodded. “I can vouch for his intelligence. What he has done is methodical in its approach. I do not doubt the workings.”

“The throne can only be claimed when both the Queen and King are dead,” Matthew whispered. 

Ronan wished vehemently that they’d been able to have this conversation without him. “Why did she die?”

“Adam thinks it’s because she hadn’t eaten for the week following your father’s death.” 

“Does he know who did this?” Declan sat straight, regal and harsh. There was a furrow between his eyebrows which was the only hint of his hard he was finding this conversation. 

Gansey shook his head. 

“I want to see him,” Declan declared. 

“We can’t reveal him, Dec," Ronan interrupted, desperate for the knowledge and terrified fro his new friend. "I promised him knowing me wouldn’t ruin his life.”

Declan nodded. “We’ll sneak him from the apothecary and into the castle. Gansey can do it. The meeting will be in my private quarters, you can use the secret entrance. Blindfold him. Sneak him back out. No one will even know he was there.”

Gansey glanced at Ronan and then nodded. “When?”

“Tonight.”

***

The King had summoned Adam. 

Anxiety played a lightening storm across Adam's skin as Gansey led him through a long corridor by the hand, blindfold impenetrable. He didn’t like feeling this vulnerable, like he had lost one of his vital senses, but he allowed the fear because it made the other fear smaller. 

_The King had summoned Adam._

He tried not to focus on how much his life had changed since the ball, how out of control it felt. Three months and he’d be free from Greenmantle. Free from the power he wielded over Adam’s life. It still didn't ease the pounding in the tips of his fingers. Didn't help the tightness in his chest. The ground below him was smooth, but the air was so cold, he couldn't help but shiver.

Gansey squeezed his hand. “Bend your head there. Perfect,” he said when Adam complied. “We’re almost there and then you can take that blasted thing off.”

Adam nodded, not trusting his voice to hold. 

Doubt churned in his stomach; he was self-taught, and he was smart, he knew he was, but there was still dirt under his fingernails and he hadn’t managed to lose the accent that marked him as lower class. He clipped his vowels and shortened his words but he knew that everyone in that room would be able to tell where he was from and who he was; nothing but a servant playing at royalty. 

This was such a bad idea. 

But the King had summoned Adam. 

He had no choice but too accept. 

He blinked against the brightness when Gansey took the blindfold off, fingers scrabbling in his hair and failing at the gentleness he was clearly trying for. The room he’d been brought too was opulent in how well worn everything was, in how nothing was missing but nothing was new. This was old money. This was richness without ever thinking about being rich.

Adam swallowed when he saw Ronan by the fire watching him. He turned at the shuffle of paper and bowed _low_. He may be poor but he knew his manners. “Your highness, thank you for having me.”

King Declan examined him. “So, you’re the man who has caught my brother’s eye?”

Prince Matthew, sitting on a chair by Ronan, snorted. 

“Dec, fuck sake, not now.” Ronan sounded flustered, and when Adam peeked a glance at him, his pale skin was stained red. “He’s here for a reason.”

The King lifted one eyebrow. “Can’t I enjoy myself a little before we start talking about murder and traitors.”

“I prefer if you fucking didn’t.”

Declan laughed and Ronan’s shoulders relaxed. 

“Do you want to sit down, Adam?” Declan asked when he was finished being amused. He pointed to a seat in front of his desk. “Gansey, do sit down. You’re stressing me out.”

Adam stumbled into a seat, not relaxed by the easy atmosphere. This was a family full of love, and Adam at little practice with that. “Thank you, my liege.”

“Please just call me Declan in this room.” 

Adam heard the warning; never outside of this room. “Of course, Declan,” he managed, only stumbling over the king's name slightly. “I brought all of my research like you requested.” Tense silence settled over the room. Swallowing, Adam asked, “Will I explain it to you?”

He nodded. “As briefly and succinctly as you can. I know you have to get back to your shop.”

Adam laid out the seven books he and Persephone had created. “I must admit it is not all my work. Persephone helped a lot.” He hadn’t brought any of the blood. It was much too precious. “We knew from the other apothecaries that the Queen had been poisoned, but of course we did the leech test as well.”

“Leech test?”

Adam turned to Prince Matthew, finding himself already protective of the younger man. “Leech’s drink blood. It is the most simple test to see if the blood has been poisoned. If it has then the leech dies.”

“How full proof is that?” Gansey asked. 

Ronan still hadn’t said anything but Adam could feel his eyes like a caress. “It is better with a living person, the blood pumping around their body.” He winced at how crass that was. “Sorry.”

Declan waved off the apology. 

Adam continued, “The Queen’s blood was received within twenty four hours. Each apothecary got five vials. We used ten leeches within an hour of receiving the blood. They all died. It was a necessary experiment but still it used up almost a full vial.” Adam rubbed a hand over his forehead. “At that point the other apothecaries tried many things in too much of a rush to figure out what had happened. They wasted blood on useless experiments, they burned it and boiled it, left it in sunlight and moonlight.” He sighed. “They all ran out of blood within two weeks.”

“We received their reports.”

“Could I read them?" Adam fisted his hands, slightly less overwhelmed when talking about his work. "It might help with what we’re doing.”

Declan nodded curtly and said, “What exactly are you doing?”

“Right, sorry.” He swallowed his nerves and pointed to book one. “We gathered all the most common poisons in the kingdom and created a type of paper that turns a different colour when they are present in a liquid. As you can imagine, it took a lot of trial and error. But we did it.”

The way King Declan looked at him was making Adam nervous; it wasn’t a bad look but he was unsure how to take the implicit praise in the expression. 

“We tested the blood and found one poison was present but it would not have been enough to kill the Queen even in huge doses. It would more likely make her sick and woozy.” He pointed to the second book. “We then looked for less common poisons that would interact with the first poison without nullifying the effects. That narrowed the field but not greatly.” He pointed to the third, fourth and fifth book. “It took us three books to figure out the second poison, and another one to figure out the third. The seventh book is to figure out what we believe is the last poison present.”

“How do you know there is only one poison left?” Gansey sounded wondrous and academic and interested. 

Adam flushed a little as being treated like an equal to a man with so much more of an education than he had. “A matter of elimination.” He picked up three notebooks sitting beside the test papers and handed them to Gansey. “It’s a lot of probability and math. I created a formula to figure out exactly how many poison would interact in the way the cocktail the queen got would and then figured out which of those could be switched out.” He paused when he realised everyone was staring at him like he was speaking a new language. 

“Adam, that’s incredibly impressive.”

He flushed. “It obviously got easier the more poisons we figured out. Some would automatically knock out the use of others. I just did what anyone would.”

Declan laughed. “Clearly not since the rest of the apothecaries figured out nothing useful.” He tapped the desk three times. “Gansey said you suggested something else. Something dangerous.”

“Yes.” Adam’s heart surged. “The poisons we have figured out so far. They interact in a way that implies death was not the intention, eternal sleep was.”

‘You’re sure about this?”

“As sure as one can be but I’m more than happy for Gansey to look over my findings. He might see something I’ve missed.”

“That would be appreciated." The King was even more impressive up close; words spoken with clipped precision, hands steady on his desk and eyes taking in every detail. "I assume I don’t have to tell you that you can’t speak to anyone of this meeting.”

Adam shook his head. “I have too much to lose. I swear I won’t tell a soul.”

“Your step father…” he trailed off as if unsure how to continue. 

He didn’t want to talk about his situation so he intentionally misunderstood. “He gets a report from the castle every morning.” Adam had no loyalty to Greenmantle and was quite pleased to be telling his secrets. “He doesn’t know I can read so he gets me to burn them after he's done with them. There's rarely anything of interest. Blackmail material between nobles. Affairs and such,” he said. “It mentioned Ronan leaving the castle at night to see me.” Only a light flush heated his cheeks as he said it. “I can’t have him find out about my job at the apothecary. Or the money I’ve saved for college.”

Declan nodded. “We could…”

“No, thank you, my liege," Adam said, words rushed and stumbling. "I have to do it by myself.” He tried not to wince at interrupting the king. 

“But you’ve already proved yourself to me,” Matthew cheerfully said. “I’m happy to let you skip the entrance exam.” Ronan hissed something at Matthew and he sighed. “Actually, you do have to sit it because that is the way it works.”

“Thank you, Prince Matthew.”

“Pfft, just Matthew.”

Adam nodded with a small smile. “You’ve been…” he started and paused, unsure if he was overstepping the mark. He took a deep breath and continued anyway. “Tad is not a worthwhile friend to you. Neither is Piper. I wouldn’t trust them.”

The smile fell from Matthew’s face. “Oh.”

“I’m sorry. I just worry that you might get hurt.” Again, Adam flushed. “It's not my place though. I’ve overstepped.” He stood. “If there’s not anything else, sire, I really should get back to the shop.”

Declan examined him, something soft and assessing in the gaze, before he nodded. “Gansey will see you out. Thank you for all the help you have given us, Adam. Our family appreciates it. The royal family appreciates it.”

Adam swallowed against the weight of the words and nodded. “Could you make sure only Gansey looks at them? They are important and I don’t have a copy.”

“I’ll keep them safe.”

He nodded and bowed. “Goodnight, my king.”

Declan inclined his head in goodbye.

Adam glanced at Ronan as he left the room but he was deep in conversation with Matthew. Gansey slid on his blind fold and the last thing he saw was Ronan turning and his blue eyes swallowing him whole. 

They were almost at the entrance, the whisper of the night air on Adam’s lips when Ronan caught up to them. 

“Gansey, can you give me a minute?”

Silence followed for a long moment and then Adam heard as Gansey stepped a few feet away. He heard the shuffle of feet as Ronan stepped forward. He was a warm line of head down the front of Adam’s body, and Adam _ached_ with how much he wanted him. 

He whispered, “Lynch?” 

“Thank you.” Ronan’s lips grazed his ear and Adam bit back a whimper. “That was more than I ever imagined we would know about what had happened. You are incredible.” He trailed his nose down Adam’s jaw, inhaling as he did. "I'm going to hug you now, okay?"

Adam didn’t trust his voice so he nodded. 

Hugging Ronan Lynch was as startling as jumping into a lake in winter; cold water that shot through his system and woke him up to the reality of the world, to its brightness and its smell and its freshness, and how alive he was. Without his sight, each touch was magnified, sending goosebumps across his skin and dancing down his back. He shivered when Ronan tucked his hand in under his shirt and ran a thumb along his spine. He felt like his knees had lost their structural integrity and he would collapse like a burning building, but then Ronan wrapped his arms around his waist and held him up. Adam forced himself to swallow the sounds crawling up his throat. 

It had been so long since he had been touched like that. He wasn't sure if he had _ever_ been touched like that before. 

They broke apart and Ronan rested his forehead against Adam’s. “I know we can't be together. I know you need time to achieve your own successes. I just want you to consider that maybe having me by your side, cheering you on wouldn’t be the worst way to live.”

Adam swallowed. “Lynch…”

“All I can offer you in friendship. I'm sorry, Parrish. I can't offer you anything more. And I know having me in your life makes it's harder, more dangerous but I’ll be here, Parrish.” He was so close, each breath warmed Adam's lips. “Better go now before someone figures out your missing.” 

Adam let out a shuddering breath. “You can't come to the apothecary but will I see you soon?”

Ronan laughed; soft and electric. “I’ll figure out a way.”

Adam was still dazed and smiling by the time they reached the apothecary. 

***

A week after Adam's visit, Ronan walked the trainees, correcting postures and swings, calling out new attacks and praise as he went. He still hadn't figured out how to see Adam but he was hoping was Noah returned he would be able to figure something out. It had been two weeks since Noah had disappeared and Ronan was starting to get worried. 

Footsteps made him glance up and he watched as Gansey strode across the yard. He bowed when he reached him. “My liege.”

“Gansey.” Formalities had long been discarded between them so if he was using them now it meant that he was worried about being overheard. “What is it you need?”

“I was hoping for a meeting with you, sire, if possible.”

Ronan nodded, hating how his skin crawled at the politeness. He had so few people he could be himself with, so few people who saw him as more than his title. “I can meet you at my rooms in thirty minutes. We'll be done by then.”

Gansey bowed again and left. 

It was dark by the time they finished up. After Ronan had finished cooling down the fifteen trainees, and separating them into sparring partners, he handed training over to one of his captains and walked towards his rooms. The guards Noah had left him; two because he trusted no one but himself to take care of Ronan alone, walked in front of behind. 

Neither reacted when Noah joined Ronan by his side. 

“My liege.” The word dripped pain. Noah was pale and sweating, favoring his left side, but trying to appear as if he wasn’t. When Ronan went to help him, he shook his head in a barely there gesture. “I'm sorry it took me so long to return. My family were over excited to see me.”

Ronan forced a laugh. “Aren’t they always? I was just about to meet Gansey for dinner, you’ll join us?”

“Of course, my liege," Noah gasped and gritted his teeth. By the time they reached Ronan’s rooms, Noah was swaying on his feet with unfocused eyes.

“You can wait outside," Ronan said to his guards. "I need to have a private meeting.”

The two guards nodded and took up positions opposite the two guards who were always on duty outside his room. When he shut the door, Noah dropped to his knees and groaned. He was trembling, full body jerks that made it look like a seizure. 

“Noah, what do you need?” Ronan dropped to his knees beside him, hands fluttering uselessly over his scorching face. 

“An apothecary. No one in the castle. I don’t know…” he slurred off and his eyes closed. He collapsed onto Ronan’s chest.

“Fuck.” Ronan stood and swept him up. He placed him gently in his bed and when he returned to the main room, Gansey was waiting. “You need to go get Adam now. Tell him to bring any antidotes he has. Don’t slow down for anyone, Gansey. It’s Noah.”

Gansey nodded, disappearing behind a tapestry and out the hidden entrance of Ronan’s room. He paced for a moment before ringing for a servant. “I need a bucket of ice water. Food as well. Drinking water.”

The servant nodded, eyes wide at Ronan’s brisk tone. 

“And get me my damn brothers.”

Without a word, the man departed. 

While he was gone, Ronan stripped Noah of his sweat soaked clothes and cursed when he saw the deep gash across his ribs. It looked fresh but infected. Ronan swallowed away his fear. He wasn’t going to lose anyone; not tonight, not again. It felt an age before the servant returned, leaving the supplies in the main room and only calling out to Ronan that they were there and the message had been passed on to his brothers. Ronan dismissed him with a wave of his hand, making sure the door to his bedroom was closed. Noah had clearly wanted to keep his state a secret and Ronan trusted his reasons. He was wiping down Noah’s head and chest with cool water by the time Gansey and Adam arrived. 

Gansey stumbled at the sight of Noah, pale and insubstantial on the bed. “Noah,” he whispered.

Adam wasted no time on such reactions. He walked over and nudged Ronan out of the way, feeling Noah’s forehead and counting his heartbeats. “How long has he been like this?”

“He found me about an hour ago." Just having Adam there calmed the agitated beat of Ronan's pulse. "He was conscious but barely. I think he used the last of his reserves to get back to me.” His voice broke and he coughed. 

“Did he tell you anything about what happened?”

Ronan shook his head. 

“Fuck.” Adam took a deep breath and picked up the icy water. “You’re not going to like this but I have to do it. Do you trust me?”

Ronan nodded instantly, feeling exposed under Gansey’s sharp gaze.

Adam poured the water over Noah and he gasped awake, shivering. “Noah. Noah, look at me. You can’t go back to sleep.” He slapped him when Noah’s eyes shut. “I need you to tell me what happened.”

Noah’s eyes shot around the room, only settling when the caught on Ronan’s. “You’re safe.” He shut his eyes and Adam smacked him again.

“Order him to answer me.”

Ronan jerked. “What?” He had never ordered Noah to do anything in the time they’d known each other. 

“Lynch, I need to know what the poison is and you’re the only one he’s reacting to. Order him.”

Ronan looked at Gansey who nodded. Sympathy was scrawled across his face. 

“Noah." He used his most royal voice the one he'd learned from his father. "What happened? Tell me.”

Noah winced but his bloodshot eyes met Ronan’s. “Tunnels. Someone behind me. Mask.” He gasped and shuddered. “Fought. My ribs.”

“What did it feel like?” Adam asked.

When Noah didn’t answer, Ronan repeated the question. 

“Numb. Then burning. Lost use of my hands. Spasms in my muscles. Thirsty. Threw up.” He shuddered again, and the pain made tears slide down his cheeks. “Lost time. Can I sleep now? Please. I need to sleep.”

Adam nodded. 

“Go to sleep, Noah. We’ve got you, man.” Ronan turned away when he nodded and shut his eyes, barely managing to control the hurt and pain is his chest. 

Declan burst into the room, and took in the situation as quick as any king. “What can we do?”

“I’m going to try and create an antidote.” Adam glanced back at them. “I am working on maybes and guesswork. Good guesswork because I’ve spent the last six months studying poisons but guesswork. Do you trust me?”

Ronan took in the firm set to his mouth, the confidence in his voice and the steady way his hands moved, and nodded. “I trust you.”

Adam nodded and rooted through his bag, pulling out a mortar and pestle. “Gansey, can you help me with this?”

“What can I do?” Matthew asked. Ronan hadn’t even realised he was there. 

Adam glanced over and smiled softly. “Can you keep Noah cool for me? The bed is helping for the moment but I need you to get more ice water and keep running it over his skin with a cloth.”

Matthew nodded and went to call a servant. 

Even half gone with grief, Ronan could see what a kindness it had been to allow Matthew to feel useful. With the door shut, the room felt claustrophobic. Noah moved in his sleep, face a pained grimace. Declan came to join him by the wall, the press of his shoulder a source of comfort. Adam and Gansey were working in sync, cutting up herbs and blending them into a paste. Adam instructed each move in a gentle but firm voice. It seemed an age before the paste was ready, Matthew leaning over Noah, soothing him with cool, calming strokes of the linen. 

Adam examined both him and Declan. “This is going to be unpleasant. But you need to do everything I say.”

They both nodded. 

“Gansey, hold his feet, Declan his knees. Ronan, I need you at his shoulders in case he panics and wakes up." Adam's voice remained calm and even. No signs of stress showed. "You’ll have to talk him down. Matthew hold down his hands.”

“Why are we restraining him?” Declan asked cautiously. 

“The paste is going straight on the wound. It’s going to hurt.” Adam swallowed. “A lot.”

Ronan took a deep breath, pushing every bit of loose emotion into a box and locking it to be dealt with later. He nodded. “Let’s get this over with.”

“One thing.” Adam held up a clear liquid in a small vial. “This is the antidote I’ve been working on. It is meant to neutralise any poisons in the system. I have tested it on most poisons but not all. I can’t guarantee this won’t kill him.”

“How long does he have left without it?” Declan’s voice broke, and he took his crown off. Right now he was a scared friend. Not the leader of their country. 

Adam stiffened at the action. “Without it, thirty minutes. With it, if it's wrong, five.”

Silence was a heavy weight for one long minute. 

Declan nodded. “Let’s do it.”

Ronan was so grateful his brother had made the decision for him.

“Okay.” Adam directed them all and took a blunt blade lying beside the bowl of paste. “Hold him tight. He’s going to jerk and tug. If he wakes up, he’ll beg us to stop. We can’t.”

Ronan took Noah’s shoulders and was comforted when Adam stepped close enough that he was a long line of heat down his side. 

“I’m going to do it now,” Adam said. He caked the paste on the first inch of the slash and Noah jerked and called out. “Comfort him.”

Swallowing, Ronan shushed Noah. “It’s okay, Noah. We’re helping you, okay? We’re just helping you. You’re safe.”

Noah screamed as Adam slathered on more of the mixture. Tears were falling down his face and Ronan wanted to scream, wanted them to stop torturing him, but he kept whispering, kept explaining what was happening. Ronan felt like he was cracking apart, like what was left of his burnt up heart was finally scattering in the wind, never to be found again, and then Adam clutched his wrist, squeezing. 

“It’s done.” His voice was as rough as Ronan felt. “Sit him up.”

Ronan did as he was told, raising Noah up. “Noah, man. I need you to wake up. I need you to drink something.” 

Noah sobbed as he opened his eyes. “Ro, please.”

“I know. I know. Just one more thing and you can rest.”

He opened his mouth, and taking a shuddering breath, Adam poured the vial into it. Noah stiffened in his arms, moaning. 

He swallowed. “It hurts, Ro. It hurts so much.”

“I know, I know." Tears made Noah's face a blur. "It’s almost over.”

Adam watched Noah carefully, fingers on Noah’s pulse counting. The longest five minutes Ronan had ever sat through passed and Adam released a long breath. 

He opened another vial. “Sedative.”

When Noah swallowed it, and slumped into Ronan’s arms, the tension fell from the room. Ronan moved him to the dry side of the bed and ensured he was cool enough but not freezing, nodded at them to follow him into the other room. 

“Matthew,” Adam said. “Could you stay with him? Make sure nothing happens?”

Matthew nodded, pleased at being useful. “Okay, pal. I’ll call you.” He settled into the chair by the bed and started humming. 

Ronan recognised the lullaby his mom used to sing them. He ran a shaking hand over his head and led the others from the room. “What was it?” 

“Blood thistle,” Adam answered, sitting on Ronan’s desk. He seemed almost relaxed, except he gripped the edges so tight, his skin was almost translucent. “If I hadn’t been studying so much the last few months.” He shook his head. “It’s rare and expensive. It can’t be grown here. It has to be imported and for a price.”

“Do you know suppliers?”

“I’ll get you a list. We had to buy some to test out the paper.” He shifted but it did little to ease the tension roped around him. “He’ll sleep for twelve hours and wake up starving. The paste will suck out the badness but he’ll need to make sure to look after the slash. If you want, I can come back tomorrow night to check on him?”

“We need you to stay,” Declan said, regret in his voice but the crown back on his head. “There is no one else we can trust.”

Adam blanched but nodded. “Yes, my liege. Whatever you request.” He stood. “Is there somewhere I could wash up?” 

Ronan pointed to a washroom off his chambers. "There should be fresh water and a place to relieve yourself.”

Adam nodded, and left the room, a hollow silence sounding in his absence.


	4. Dawn

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merry Christmas! Hope you're all safe and well!

Adam curled his knees into his chest and fisted his hair. He was shaking and he couldn’t stop it. Shudders that reminded him of Noah, and the pain, and the hurt, and the begging, and the crying, until he was choking back sobs of his own. It had been the scariest half hour of his life even with Gansey whispering assurances to him. He couldn’t even worry about what he was going to tell Greenmantle when they realised he was missing. He couldn’t when Noah’s hoarse voice was still fresh in his mind, when Ronan’s trembling form as he begged his friend to stay alive still warmed his side. 

He sat there for a long time, and couldn’t force himself to move. 

When a warm body sat beside him, he barely reacted, too lost in memories. Just shook his head. “I don’t want to talk.”

“The fuck would I talk about, Parrish?”

The silence was less lonely after that. 

He slept in front of the fire in Ronan’s room. The armchair was wide and comfortable, softer than his bed. Ronan slept opposite him, or at least, sat up and watched the fire. Sometimes, Adam would wake, and in the soft place between sleep and alertness, he would steal as much as he could of Ronan’s face; the way the fire turned his pale skin warm and how shadows still managed to steal his eyes and sharpen his cheekbones, or how he looked eternal like a dream thing brought to life. When he got his fill, Adam would close his eyes and sleep for a little while longer, or until he was hungry for Ronan again. 

Sunlight had split across the floor like an overfull glass before they spoke again. 

“Are you okay?”

Ronan shrugged. “I have lost too many people to lose more now.”

“He’s going to be okay.”

“Thanks to you.” When Ronan looked at him, it was with bare gratitude, and made Adam feel like he was drowning. “I don’t know what we would have done without you.”

“You would have figured out another way.”

“I dunno if that’s true, Parrish. I really fucking don’t.” 

A groan sounded from the bed and Ronan leapt to his feet, crossing the room in four strides. He was achingly gentle when he ran his fingers over Noah’s forehead. 

“Ro?”

“Yeah, man. I’m here.”

“What happened? I remember…” He paused to gulp down the water Ronan fed him. “The tunnels, I think? Was there someone with me?”

“You were stabbed. We don’t know by who. Poisoned too.”

Adam moved to the other side of the bed and felt Noah’s forehead. “How ya feeling?”

“Sore. Tired. Not dead.”

“That’s always a positive.” He counted his heartbeat. It was smooth and steady unlike last night when it had been fluttery and weak. “Hungry?”

“Starving.”

Adam nodded. “I think he’ll be okay. We’ll give him some food and I’ll give him a dose of vitamins to replenish his body, and with a bit of bed rest, he should be okay in a week or so.”

Ronan fell back on the bed and shoved the heel of his hands into his eyes. “Fuck. Fucking fuck. Noah, don’t ever do that to me again.” 

“I can’t promise that but I’ll do my best.”

“Oh fuck you,” Ronan replied but he was smirking. 

Adam cleared his throat. “I have to go but I’ll come back tonight. Noah, stay in bed, okay? Your body needs to recover.”

Noah looked between the two of them. “What exactly happened?”

“Parrish saved your life, man.”

“Oh,” Noah examined Adam. “Thank you, and thank you for staying.”

“I’m glad you’re better. I’ll see you tonight.” He left, relieved when he heard footsteps behind him. He picked up his cloak but left his bag. “I’ll pick that up later. I can’t bring it back to Greenmantle’s.”

Ronan nodded. “What’s going to happen when you go back?”

“Nothing good.” He headed for the tapestry but Ronan grabbed his hand before he reached it. He turned slowly, nerves making his heart an uncoordinated dance. “Lynch,” he warned. “I have to go.”

“I know. I know.” He took a step forward, driving Adam back into the cold wall. “I won’t ask you to stay but I won’t let you leave without a proper goodbye.”

He ran callused fingers down Adam’s jawline, trailing it down his throat. It was so rare, so very rare for Adam to be touched with such gentleness, and his whole body _ached ached ached_ for Ronan’s touch. He let his head fall back against the cold stone, and allowed himself the luxury of Ronan’s lips mouthing along his throat, Ronan’s hands gripping his waist underneath his top, and the warm press of his mouth against Adam’s. 

He let himself get lost in it; forgot about the punishment he was walking into, forgot about his fear last night, and the deep ache of exhaustion in his bones. He forgot about college and studying and working night and day. All he knew was the heat of Ronan’s back under his hands, and the sounds Ronan made when Adam kissed him back, when he pulled him closer. He lost track of how long they kissed, only knowing it wasn’t long enough when they pulled apart, breathing heavily. 

“You’re going to have to go, or I’ll kick Noah out of my bed.”

Adam laughed. “You wouldn’t. You love him too much.”

“I might love…” Ronan stopped himself, and glanced at the floor. Red stained the tips of his ears. “You’ll be back tonight?”

Adam could barely hear him over the thump of his heart. “As soon as I can.” Feeling especially courageous, he took a step forward and caught Ronan’s lips for one last soft kiss. “Get some rest. I’ll be back later.” He disappeared into the tapestry before the soft look in Ronan’s eyes convinced him to stay. 

Greenmantle was waiting for him when he returned. “Where were you?”

“I was picking up apples for the cook.” He held up the bag he’d bought in the market on his way home. “Oh, and I found you that cheese you like. Just imported this morning.”

“The cook said she wasn’t sure where you were.”

“She asked me to get them yesterday and I forgot. I hoped if I flew out this morning and was back early enough she wouldn’t realise my mistake.”

Greenmantle eyed him suspiciously. “You better not be lying to me, Adam.”

“I’m not, sir.” Adam wasn’t sure how to cool the heat of anger on the air but he kept his eyes down. “Would you like the cheese I got?”

“Adam, I do not trust you. I want you to know that.” He grabbed Adam’s arm and pulled him down the stairs and into the cupboard they'd deigned to give him as a bedroom. “One week. I might let you out earlier if we get bored of serving ourselves like peasants.” He grabbed the bag of apples and the cheese that had cost Adam almost a day’s wages. 

“Sir, please, it won’t happen again. You don’t have to do this.”

“I will punish you as I see fit. This is a kindness.” There was an implicit threat in the words that Adam didn’t miss. “We ate your breakfast. No lunch or dinner either. I may allow food to be brought down tomorrow.”

Adam nodded, making himself as small as possible. “Yes, sir.” He was glad he’d bought himself a roll and some porridge in the market and eaten it on the way home. 

It was a few hours before Adam thought to check on his money. The room was exactly how he had left it, clean and sparse and cold. It was a place for sleeping, not a home. He pulled the loose stone up from the corner of the room, and fell back. Fear and anger and disappointment stormed through him wetting his cheeks with their frustrations. 

It was gone. 

All of his money was gone. 

***

Adam didn’t return that night or the next or even the next.

Ronan was panicking and trying very hard not to show it. He had to go about his normal routine, show his face at training and council meetings, smile when K asked him how he was and if he’d chosen a partner yet, and shake hands with Greenmantle when they passed new legislation about food distribution. All the while he wanted to shove them against the wall, put a dagger to their throats and ask where the hell Adam was. If Ronan doubted the strength of his feelings before, he didn’t now. His feelings for Adam’s had burned through every part of him, making him feel alive and awake for the first time in months. 

They'd finally kissed and Ronan would never be able to forget it. He would never find love with a noble. Not now he knew the taste of Adam's lips. He ached for him. 

On the fourth night, he sent Gansey to get some answers. 

When he returned from talking with Blue, his mouth was a harsh line. He took off his glasses and cleaned, eyes dark and grim. “She snuck in to see the cook. She says he’s locked in his room for the week. The cook is sneaking him food.”

“Fucking hell.” Ronan shot out of his seat. “They’re not feeding him?”

He shook his head. “What are we going to do?”

“I…” He paced the room, hating the feel of their eyes on him. Noah was still in his bed. It was too dangerous to move him and let people know how close someone had come to killing a Prince’s guard. “We do nothing,” he finally said. “Adam wouldn’t want us to and someone tried to kill Noah, and only suspect is Greenmantle, and that’s based on no evidence except our fucking dislike of him, a couple of overheard conversations, and Adam's information. K is already watching me closely. They have to know something is going on with Adam even if they don’t know I’m involved.” He scrubbed his shaved head and sighed. “We have to let this play out until we know more.”

“Ronan, we can’t leave him there.”

“Yes. We can.” Ronan hated using his royalty voice but he couldn’t risk Adam on this. It had to be done right. 

Gansey nodded. “Yes, my liege.”

“What about Matthew?” Noah asked.

They both turned to him and Ronan asked “What about him?”

“He knows Tad, right? Have him visit the house when both Greenmantle and K are out, Piper too if we can manage it. He could mention you meeting one of their servants and use his guileless charm to meet him.” Noah took a shuddering breath, still weak from the poison. “He could pass him a note from you. Give him some hope. Some company.”

Ronan thought about it and rang for a servant. “Could you hunt down both my brothers and get them to come see me when they’re ready? Tell them they’re invited to dinner in my rooms. Then could you let the kitchen know we’ll all be eating in here?” He asked when they arrived minutes later.

“Certainly, my liege.” 

When they were alone again, he said, “Noah, you’re my favourite person. I want you to know that.”

Noah laughed. “Well aware of that fact.”

By the time Declan, Matthew and the food had arrived, Ronan had the letter written and sealed. Not with the royal seal but a more common one used for secret correspondences. He waited until everyone was settled at the table before he explained the situation to his brothers. 

Declan was a sharpened blade by the time Ronan had stopped talking. “This is my fault for making him stay.”

“I’m happy to help,” Matthew said, taking some of the strain from Declan’s face. “Tad is fine enough and easy to manipulate.” He waved away the surprised expressions on their faces. “I got the same training you both did. I just don’t need it because I am naturally likeable and charming. Unlike you two misery guts.”

“Oh yes, how ever do you survive the strain of being the youngest most spoiled prince?” Declan groused, smiling slightly. “It must be such a trial.”

“With you two moanbags, sometimes it is.”

Ronan laughed. “So, you’ll get my letter to him?”

“I will. The house will be empty two days from now. K and Greenmantle have a council meeting and Piper will be visiting the wives in the grand hall.” Matthew scrawled a quick note and rang the bell for a servant. “Could you be sure this gets sent to Greenmantle’s house for his son Tad on the morning of the fourth? No earlier.”

The servant nodded and retreated. 

“Now,” Matthew asked, clearly enjoying showing off his capabilities for his older brothers. “How do we change the marriage laws and then convince Adam to leave these awful people, marry Ronan and attend my university?”

Declan rolled his eyes. 

***  
Adam thought he might be going insane. 

He was hungry, and thirsty. He’d barely spoken to anyone in a week. Didn’t know if anyone had even noticed he was missing. He knew that was a lie. Beth, the cook, had told him Blue had come looking when she snuck him food late at night and early in the morning before anyone was awake. Blue would have told Gansey and he would tell Ronan. 

No one was going to come looking and he was okay with that. It showed they respected his plans, his life, his choices. So few people had even given him choices, it felt like a miracle to have them respected. Every time he thought of the money, panic spiked through him. Someone knew. He didn’t know if they were going to tell, or just keep the money for themselves. He would never be able to save that amount again. It had already taken him two years. The entrance test was paid for, so he could probably still get in, but without his savings, there was no way to actually attend. 

Maybe being a student would be enough to keep Greenmantle away. That would buy him a year at least. If he didn’t attend lectures though, he’d be kicked out and then he’d be back to square one. He rubbed a hand along his stubbled jaw. Beth had snuck him in enough water to bathe that morning which had got rid of the worst of the smell but he still felt dirty, and grimy. He longed for a soak in a hot bath like the one on the night of the ball. Probably the only hot bath he'd ever manage in this house. 

He added that to the ever growing list of wants; a hot bath whenever he wanted. 

The list was growing longer every day, but was shrinking down too. From a house, an education, enough food, enough water, enough money, to getting through the day, to sleeping, to just _feeling awake when his eyes were open_. Swallowing back tears, he stared at his ceiling and started counting stones again. The only comfort was he didn’t, not for one second, regret his actions. If he had to choose again, he would save Noah every time. 

This punishment was worth it. 

The door of his room opened and he glanced up, expecting to see Beth again. Instead Tad rushed into the room and dragged him up. 

“The princes have been talking about you since the tournament. Prince Matthew wants to meet you,” he hissed. “Get up.”

Shaky from lack of food and water, Adam didn’t need help in showing how shocked he was. “The prince wants to talk to me? Why?”

“Because you impressed his brother when you were pageboy to K. Now, come on.” Tad wrenched him by the wrist and pulled him up the stairs. 

The light pained him after the dullness of his room and he blinked away tears. He tried to tidy his hair, hating to think of Matthew seeing him in such a state. There was nothing he could do about his clothes; he only had three outfits and he hadn’t been allowed to wash them. 

“Sorry about the state of him, my liege. He was cleaning the basements.”

Adam dipped in a low bow. “Sire, it is an honour to meet you.”

“And you,” Matthew’s voice was steady but Adam could hear the upset in the clipped vowels and harsh endings. “My brother speaks highly of you.”

“Your brother is too kind.” His back was starting to ache from his bow, but he couldn’t straighten until Matthew allowed it. Here, he had to have impeccable manners. His hands were shaking. “I was barely in his presence for five minutes.” 

“You may stand.” The tone was imperious and bored; as if Matthew couldn’t care less. Adam could hear the lie in every word. “Tournaments are my brother's favourite pastime. He collects pageboys like yourself. I don’t suppose I could steal you away from Tad here.”

Tad laughed. “He was only standing in as a pageboy. He’s pretty useless to be frank. Barely worth keeping around.”

Heat suffused Adam’s skin. He kept his eyes on his battered boots. “It is a high honour your majesty, truly, but my place is here.”

“The prince will be sad to hear it.”

Adam’s hearts ached at the words. 

“Tad, shall we ride?”

“Yes, my liege. I’ll let the stableboys know we’re coming.”

Matthew nodded. “Adam, would you be so kind to bring me a drink?”

“Of course, my liege.” 

When Matthew’s back was turned, Tad gave him a warning look before strolling from the room. Adam poured a goblet of wine and handed it to Matthew. 

“Are you okay?” Matthew asked, desperation lacing the words.

Sudden tears filled Adam’s eyes at the unexpected care. “I’m surviving. I always do. How’s Noah?”

“Much better. Managing a few hours sitting in front of the fire each day. Hoping to be out of the room and back to normal by next week.”

A knot of tension released in Adam’s chest. “Oh thank god. I was so worried when I couldn’t go back.”

“Where have they got you locked up?”

“My room.”

“Are they feeding you?”

He shook his head, flushed with shame. “I’m okay, I promise.”

Anger crossed Matthew’s usually cheerful features. He handed Adam a letter from his pocket. “This is from Ronan. He misses you.”

When Adam heard Tad slamming back into the house he backed away, letter tucked into the back of his trousers. 

“My prince, the horses are ready.”

“Wonderful.” He handed Adam the goblet, barely looking at him as he did but the brushed of his fingers told of how much he cared; rarely was a person allowed to touch the princes without explicit permission. “Let’s go.”

Knowing he should go back to his room, but unwilling to return to his prison without prompting, he went to the kitchen and allowed Beth to feed him soup and bread, fussing over how pale he was. She boiled a small bucket of water over the flames and he stripped down, and finally washed the rest of the grime from his skin. She handed him clean clothes she had spare and he felt more like himself than he had in a week. 

When he was sure there was no else in the house, he sat in front of the fire in the kitchen and opened Ronan’s letter with trembling fingers. 

_P,  
I can’t tell you how we worried when you never returned. We wanted to go after you, storm the house and steal you away, but I knew how angry you’d be if we’d done that.  
It’s fucking stupid but I understand.  
I miss you. Every day, every hour. When I see something I think you’d like, when I hear a fact I know you’d already know. I miss our tea and our conversations. Even if it was only for one night and Noah in the bed, I miss the sight of you asleep beside me, the flames reflecting off your face and making you look like some sort of magician.  
I know we are not near confessions of love, I know we can't with the law as it is, and so, I will give you nothing but this.  
I miss you as if you took my heart with you.  
L._

It took Adam a long time to calm the thump of his heart, the shaking of his hands, and dry the tears from his face. 

Even though he knew he should, he didn’t burn the letter. 

***  
“Your usual guard has been absent for quite a while, Prince Ronan.” Greenmantle probably didn’t sound hopeful but that was what Ronan heard in his tone. “All is well, I hope?”

Ronan examined the man across the council table long enough that he shifted in his seat, showing a rare bout of nerves. “He is visiting his family. Family is so important, don’t you agree?”

“Of course, my liege. It is why I am training my son in the ways of the council. The traditions must be passed down.” He fingered the stem of his wine glass. “You must be excited to start your own family soon.”

Ronan felt K’s eyes on him. “I am. My suitor is a most impressive man.” The council fell silent as all eyes fell on him. He didn’t care; the expression on K’s and Greenmantle’s face made it worth it. “We are taking it slow because he has to finish his education.”

“Prince Matthew visited our house yesterday,” K said, voice rough with anger. “Said you’ve been singing the praises of our stablehand.”

Fire burned beneath his skin. When Matthew had described the state Adam had been in, starving, thirsty, and dirty, Ronan had almost broken his promise to go and retrieve him. Matthew talked him down, expressing how relieved Adam looked that they were respecting his wishes. He wished he’d been there to see Adam, to hug him and watch him read the letter he’d written. The words had been easy to find but terrifying to write. He hoped he hadn’t scared Adam with too much too soon. 

K lounged back in his chair, a boy playing at being Prince. 

Ronan was the goddamn Prince of this country and he was going to make K remember that before this was all done. 

“The people who serve us do so with great dignity. I like to recognise that as any good ruler should.” He smiled but it was more weapon than expression. “I assume you’ve been treating him well.”

K snorted. “As well as he deserves.”

“Very well, my liege,” Greenmantle interrupted. “We agree that all people deserve our respect.”

“Of course you do,” Ronan replied as amicably as a snake. “Shall we continue with this legislation?”

Greenmantle nodded and looked back to the papers in front of him. 

Declan raised his eyebrow when Ronan glanced at him. 

He barely shrugged in reply, just enough for Declan to read his response but no one else. He was done playing Greenmantle’s games. It was time to put pressure on the family and see who cracked first. 

Noah was doing sit ups when Ronan returned to his room. 

“Feeling better?”

Noah nodded, rolling over to start push ups. “I want to go back out there. Let’s spar tonight and see if I can manage to keep up. If I can, I’ll come back. If not I’ll stay on bedrest another few days. I’m not putting you at risk for my pride.”

Ronan nodded, already looking forward to the chance of sparring with Noah again. He was the only one who could keep up with Ronan most days. 

“Sounds good to me.” He watched Noah for a few minutes. “Before you got stabbed, did you find out anything?”

“Not much.” He rolled onto his heels and stared up at Ronan. “It isn’t the kitchen staff or the servants. No one of low standing in the castle. They had access to the tunnels. Knew them. I suspect it is someone high up. Someone close to the family.” He bounced on his haunches and stood. “I think if we find them, we’ll find who killed your parents.”

Ronan nodded, running a hand across his rough head. “Are we still in danger?”

“You’re a prince. You’re always in danger.” Noah shot him a weak smile. “I don’t know, Ro. I can’t disappear. Not knowing that there is someone with access to your rooms and the Kings and Matthew’s.” He held up his hand. “I have told both of their guards. No one will be sneaking into their room. Something is coming, you know that right?”

“I’m just waiting for the next move, Noah. I’m ready to take them all out.”

Noah nodded. “Make sure it is them who are destroyed and not you.”

“Like you’d ever allow that to happen,” Ronan laughed. “C’mon the fuck. Let’s eat and train.”

***  
The door slammed open and Adam bolted up. 

When K dragged him from his room, Adam’s heart fell to the ground and smashed. They knew. What, he didn’t know. But something. 

“You’ve done it this time, poorboy,” he gloated, leading Adam up the stairs with a rough wrench of his wrist. “Greenmantle is going to kill you.”

Piper sat on the couch, sipping a glass of wine. Tad sat slumped beside her. Greenmantle stood by the fire, illuminated in glowing flames. When he turned, and the fire blurred his edges, he looked like some sort of night terror. Adam searched the room, and nearly stopped breathing when he noticed his purse on the table between the couches. He kept his face passive through practice and willpower. 

K threw himself on the opposite couch. “Get me some wine, Tad.”

“Make Adam do it.”

K snorted. “Too right.” He glared at Adam. “Well?”

He nodded and poured them both glasses, hands willfully still. “Sir?” He asked Greenmantle when he’d given them their glasses. “Wine?”

Greenmantle examined her for a brief moment before giving him a curt nod. 

Grateful to have something to do, he got Greenmantle his glass and then stood back. “Is there anything else?”

“Yes, Adam. There is something else,” sneered Greenmantle. 

Adam wondered for one painful second whether he had ever been loved by anyone in this house. Even when he was tiny. “Yes, sir?”

“Do you see the purse of money on the table? Do you know who that belongs to?”

He considered lying. Considered running. Considered not answering. In the end, he said, “Me.”

“That’s right, Adam. Can I ask where the hell you got that type of money considering we don’t pay you?”

Room and board was all Adam deserved according to his step father. “I’ve been working in an apothecary at night.”

“No wonder you were always late to serve us breakfast,” Piper sniffed. “I told you we needed more staff than just him. Helen Gansey has three ladies in waiting and I have no one.”

“Not the time, Piper.”

“It never is with you.”

Adam took the time to shuffle backwards, out of arm's reach. He said nothing but made himself look as small as possible. 

“What were you planning to do with this money?” Greenmantle turned back to him as quick as a viper. 

“Find my own rooms. Relieve you of your burden to me.” It was the best lie he could come up with. They couldn’t know how educated he was, how much he studied and his plans for college. They would take it from him. 

“Oh, were you? How interesting. Nothing to do with the name I found on the college entrance exam. A. Parrish. No family.” Greenmantle took a sip of his wine. “Really, Adam, I’m hurt. Have I not been kind to you? Have I not taken you and fed you and allowed you to live under my roof? And all I ask for is some loyalty, some simple chores.”

K laughed. “How exactly were you planning on taking the exam if you can’t read?”

“He can read,” Tad sighed. “All he does is read. Do none of you pay attention.”

Adam’s skin crawled with the feeling of being observed. He’d been so careful. Tad made himself appear like such a blundering idiot that even Adam had underestimated him. 

“What I want to know,” Tad continued with violent glee. “Is who the mysterious L is in this letter?”

Adam blanched. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He didn’t dare look at Greenmantle. 

Tad unfolded his letter with glee. “I know we are not near confessions of love, I know we can't with the law as it is, and so, I will give you nothing but this. I miss you as if you took my heart with you. L.”

Greenmantle ripped it from his hand. His eyes skirted across the words before he glanced up as Piper. 

“Well?” She asked, bored. She swung her empty glass at Adam. “Fill that, would you? My husband has a flare for the dramatic and I am thirsty.”

“Who is it?” Greenmantle’s voice could have sharpened a blade, it was so rough. “Tell me. Now.”

“A stablehand at the palace,” Adam replied, handing Piper her glass and refusing to look anyone in the eye. “No one important.”

K stood, grabbing the letter from Greenmantle and reading it. He laughed. “This is the prince’s writing, poorboy. Why is the prince writing you?”

“He’s not.” Adam backed away, slowly, keeping his voice calm against the mounting tension in the small space. “I’ve never met a prince.”

“Except Prince Matthew last week,” Tad interrupted. “When I went to check on the horses, you were alone. Pretty easy to slip you a letter from _your prince_.”

“Did you go to the ball without our permission, Adam? Are you being courted by Prince Ronan?”

Adam shook his head. “I didn’t. I’m not.” His heart was a roar in his ears and he didn’t know how to calm the rage in his stepfather's words. He took another step backwards. “I haven’t done anything.”

“Except lying about not being able to read, about having a job, about saving money,” Piper listed off. “Seems you’ve been lying quite a lot to us, stepson of mine.”

Adam swallowed back tears, wanting nothing more than to run. Except K must have noticed and he was blocking the door. 

“Let’s have a little chat, Adam,” Greenmantle said in icy tones. “Sit.”

Adam sat. 

***

Court days were the most frustrating. 

All three brothers had to be present; each prince voted, and the King’s the deciding one. They listened to anything from petty disputes to violent crime. Once a month, he heard the worst of humanity and Ronan hated it. Still, he listened and tried to be as fair as possible in his recommendations like his mother had taught him. He didn’t expect to see Adam dragged in, wrists and feet in chains and face a bloody mess. Ronan managed not to react but it was a near thing. He saw his brothers stiffen in the peripheral. Greenmantle and K trekked in after Adam, looking much too gleeful for the state of their ward. Anger bubbled beneath Ronan’s skin but he kept his face as a blank mask. 

“Your complaint, Noble Greenmantle?” Ice leached through Declan’s tone and the room froze around it. 

“My servant has been stealing from me.”

Ronan examined Adam, knowing exactly what was coming. He turned his head slightly and Noah was there. “Get the women from Fox Way Apothecary. He needs witnesses.” 

He didn’t get a response but someone else took Noah’s place by his shoulder. When he turned back to the scene, K was glaring at him. “Do explain exactly how and when this servant has been stealing from you.”

Greenmantle glanced at him. “Do you not take my word for it, my liege? Do you not trust your nobles?”

Mutterings began from the nobles gathered on their dias.

“The way of our courts have always been to expect evidence of any crime. It is not a matter of trust,” Declan sounded like a king and Ronan was so grateful his brother had obviously picked up his need to drag this out. “But of fairness. Everyone in our country deserves a chance at justice. Be they noble or servant.”

“Of course, sire.” Greenmantle glanced at the nobles again and Ronan could practically see him doing the calculations in his head, figuring out the best way to undermine the royal family, the proceedings, the court, the crown. 

Fuck but Ronan hated him. 

Adam was staring at the ground, leaning slightly on his left side with no weight on his right ankle. Blood stained his grey top and his wrists were more prominent than they had been the last time Ronan had seen it. Something vital was missing from him as he stood there, defeated and cowed. Ronan wanted to guide him from the watching eyes and help him remember who he was. 

He was worthy of a Prince’s love. He was worthy of so much more. 

Just because of who he was, how incredible and intelligent and kind he was. 

K huffed and shoved Adam to the side, striding forward and dumping a purse of coins onto the table at the top of the room. “The coin he stole. We have long thought we were all just clumsy or forgetful with our property but we found this in his room a week ago.”

“And was it you who felt the need to dole out punishment before the court had decided an outcome?” Matthew’s voice held none of it’s usual warmth. 

Ronan glanced at the bruises and cuts on K’s knuckles. He forced his face to remain impassive, almost bored. Greenmantle kept glancing at him and he thought maybe they knew more than they were letting on. 

“He attacked me when we confronted him about the money. We have treated him like family. Treated him so well.” K shook his head, the picture of heartbreak. “To have him betray us like this. My mother has taken to her bed. Tad is with her.”

Ronan almost snorted. He had met Piper Greenmantle. Nothing would take her to bed unless she wanted it too. “Can you be sure he didn’t earn it somewhere else?”

“He claims it was in an apothecary but we asked them all and no one has even heard of him.”

“You didn’t ask me,” a woman with more hair than body said gently from the back of the room. It was a miracle her voice carried to the thrones. “Oh, hello. I am sorry to be late but no one told me of this witch hunt.”

Ronan hid his smirk behind his hand. 

“Can I ask who you are?” Declan asked.

“I am Persephone Poldma and I am owner of the Fox Way Apothecary.”

“Part owner,” said another tall, black woman in a shocking amount of purple. “We are Adam’s employers.”

She stepped aside and a third woman walked in, passed Greenmantle and up to Adam. “Oh, my boy. What did they do to you?”

He shrugged one shoulder, but Ronan could see the glint of tears in his eyes reflecting the candlelight. 

“Is there a reason he is in chains?”

“He stole from us.”

“Oh hush, you know he didn’t.” 

Persephone glided over and took Adam’s hands in her, hiding them from view. When she stepped away the chains were off him. She handed them to Greenmantle with a sly grin. “Oh dear, they seem to be faulty.”

Declan clapped his hands and silence fell. “I need your names please and how you know the accused.”

“Calla, Muara, and Persephone. We run the Fox Way Apothecary,” Calla replied, voice only one shade off disrespectful. “Adam Parrish has been working for us for the past two years.” She raised a red ledger. “We have records of his payments here and I think you’ll find the amount we paid him will match the amount in that bag more or less.”

Greenmantle huffed. “Moonlighting and not doing his servant duties. I demand we be recompensed for this failure of activity.”

“You don’t pay me.” Adam’s voice was as hoarse and rough as if he had a cold but as defiant as ever. “You have never paid me.”

“Is this true, Greenmantle?”

“We agreed to room and board in exchange for light duties.”

Adam snorted. “Light duties? I clean the whole house. And when did we decide that? When you adopted me when I was two? When you refused to feed me for a week when I was five? When you refused me an education when I was ten? When you put me to work at thirteen? When exactly did we decide that?”

The room was so silent, Ronan could hear Adam’s gasping breaths. He sounded like he probably had a bruised rib or two. 

Adam leaned into Persephone. “I can’t go back, can I?”

“Only forward now, my dear.” 

Declan stood and a harsh silence fell so unlike the shocked one before. “Noble Greenmantle, were you not the one who insisted we bring in protection laws for servants? Did you not fight with my father for such opportunities? Meet him day after day in his office with his advisors to decide the best wording for such legislation? Help choose punishments for people who did not abide by those laws?”

“He is my orphan son, not a member of my staff. I treat my cook most generously. I demand recompense for this man’s disrespect.”

The nobles were whispering on the dias again. Matthew was watching Adam, and K was watching Ronan. He grinned something feral, and unease crawled across Ronan’s skin. Nothing good would come from this. Nothing at all. 

Declan nodded. “No. You will not be recompensed. You are lucky I am not bringing the full extent of our laws down on you for mistreatment of staff. Adam, you are free. The money is yours.” 

“Seconded.”

“Third.”

Declan nodded. “Court is finished for the day. Get out of my sight.” 

In the rush of people leaving, Ronan lost sight of K. When he looked back around, Adam was gone as well. Soon the hall was empty, and he looked to his brothers. 

“What now?”

Matthew shrugged. “Why don’t you head back to your rooms, and we’ll follow? We can have dinner together? I’ve just gotta get out of these clothes.” They had to dress formally on court days so all three were wearing sharp black suits, making them look like a trio of demons insistent on doling out punishment. 

“Sounds good,” he replied. “Declan?”

“I’ve got to finish a few reports and meet with Whelk, but I can join you after.” He looked wretched, skin pale against the dark material contrasting with the dark bags under his eyes. The trembling in his hands Ronan had noticed at the ball two months before was even more noticeable. Declan caught him looking, and shook his head.

Ronan understood. Not in front of the guards. “Make sure you come up to us. We’ll save you a plate of food.”

Whelk appeared at the entrance to the and bowed. “Are you ready, my liege?”

Matthew and Ronan left, but not without a backward glance at his brother who seemed to have aged decades in the space of a few months. They parted ways at the end of the staircase. 

“I’ll be ten minutes,” Matthew called. “Order food now.”

Ronan laughed and agreed, watching as he and his guards sauntered down the corridor.

Noah walked with him, unusually silent. 

“K disappeared pretty quickly.”

“I noticed.” Noah’s hand was on the hilt of his sword and he was more alert than usual for this part of the castle. 

“Noah?”

“I dunno, my liege. Something isn’t right.”

Ronan stopped walking. “Who do we check first? Matthew or Declan?”

“Matthew.”

They raced down the staircase and down the corridor to Matthew’s room. The door swung open, his guards were unconscious on the ground, and Matthew was nowhere to be seen. 

All that remained of him was his lonely crown, spinning on the floor. 


	5. Sunrise

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Second last chapter! The drama! The intrigue! The death!

Adam felt nothing as the women of Fox Way bathed him and sorted out his cuts and bruises with tinctures and bandages. They wrapped his aching ribs and tender ankle, cleaned his scraped up face and bruised eyes. Soft touches felt like glass on his oversensitive skin. He barely remembered leaving the palace, walking through the skinny streets until they’d reached the shop. 

He remembered Greenmantle’s words. Kavinsky’s fists. Tad’s jeer. Piper mocking laughter. 

Oh, that he remembered. 

Everything else was a strange blur of sights, half-seen; the flash of a woman, the green of the florists, the noise of passing carts and the angry mutterings of Calla and Maura as they led the way through the crowds. Persephone was a warm line beside him, guiding him through the streets without him feeling suffocated or unsafe. 

He didn’t know how he felt. 

The King had said how he had been treated was wrong. 

The Princes agreed. 

He had needed that proof; the knowledge it wasn’t in his head, the validation that he deserved more. 

When he was dressed in softer clothes than he had ever known, exhaustion was a heavy weight around his neck. They led him to his bed, and he crawled in with no protests.

Adam slept. 

He slept through those first frantic hours when Ronan searched for Matthew and Declan tried to present a calm and kingly facade. He slept through Blue and Gansey rushing from the shop to search the streets and taverns and inns. He slept through Noah and the other king’s guard hunting down every unsavory person they knew in the hope for a clue. He slept when they searched Greenmantle’s house top to bottom and found nothing. 

Adam slept the dreamless sleep of the recently unburdened. 

“Eighteen hours,” Persephone informed him when he finally dragged himself free from the heavy slumber. “You have barely moved. Now, eat some pie and drink some water.”

He did both. “Where’s Blue?”

“Well,” Persephone pursed her lips. “I am not meant to know, or you are not meant to know, or we’re both not meant to know—” she paused to consider who was meant to know what for a long moment. “—either way Prince Matthew is missing.”

“What?” Adam jumped to his feet, and then froze when his eyes blackened and the ground swooped under him. 

“Pie, Adam,” she said gently but with the certainty of a knife to the throat. “Sit.”

He nodded and sat, picking up the pie and eating it as he did. “What happened? How do you know?”

“That boy came pounding in here last night looking for you and Blue. The jumper one.”

Adam snorted, ignoring how his heart leapt in his chest at the thought of Matthew missing, and Ronan scared, and Declan hurting. “Gansey?”

“Yes, yes.” She nodded and pushed his fork back to the pie on his plate. “He wanted you both to help him search, but since you were indisposed, Blue joined him. She has yet to come back. I do hope he hasn’t gotten her lost as well.”

“I should go and help.” When he went to stand, she put a firm hand on his knee. He leaned back against the cool stone walls of his room. He liked it here in the small confines of his room, surrounded by bits he’d gathered or been gifted by Ronan. Odd things only a prince could find. “Or I should stay and recover.”

“And eat more pie.” In the small space, her white hair was even bigger, stretching out to make the stone walls dull in comparison. The chair was so close to his thin cot that their knees knocked. “I’ll be back to check on you soon.”

Adam nodded and finished his pie. Despite his worry, sleep dragged him back under like a rock sinking into a lake. He only woke when Calla arrived back to change his bandages. 

“Shush, go back to sleep,” she whispered, tying off the last bandage. “They still haven’t found him but there’s nothing you can do right now. Heal, Adam.” 

Adam fell back asleep. 

***  
They still hadn’t found Matthew. 

It had been a full day, and nothing. They had to search for him quietly, couldn’t let the nobles or the council know. The throne was too unsteady after their parents' murders to admit that a prince had been taken. Panic would spread. People would riot.

They needed to do it quietly. 

Ronan paced Declan’s office, hands fisting and unfisting in frustration. “What else can we do?” He’d gone to every trusted informant he had, walked the streets, torn apart Greenmantle’s house as they watched and claimed they had no idea where their damn son was. Ronan was going to kill Kavinsky when he saw him next. 

“We’ve got everyone looking.” Declan replied. He sounded wretched; tired, old and hoarse.  
“Noah?” Declan was distracted for a moment when Whelk handed him some papers and took the empty glass off the table, tilting his head in response to Declan’s tired _thanks_. 

Noah stood to attention. “Everyone we can have out is out. His guards insisted as soon as they were awake, and some of our most trusted allies. No one knows who isn’t meant to know. The guards confirmed it was Joseph Kavinsky.” Noah’s eyes followed Whelk as he spoke; his inattention to the king something so unlike him that Ronan watched the other man as well. Noah continued, “His house has been searched but Matthew isn’t there. His parents claim to have no idea what he was planning.”

Whelk poured water into the glass. Ronan saw nothing strange about the action, but Noah stepped closer to the other man, and his jaw clenched at whatever. He grabbed Whelk as he turned from the table of drinks and slammed him into the wall. The glass fell from his hand and shattered. 

Tense silence was interrupted only by Whelk’s spluttering and indignant protests. 

“What did you put in the King’s glass, Whelk?” The dagger against Whelk’s throat was sharp and glinting in the moonlight. “Don’t look at them, sir. This is between you and the King’s guard.” 

Whelk stared at Noah, and like the glass shattering on the ground, he indignation fell away and was replaced with a cold, hard glint in his eyes. He grinned and Ronan thought of a snake about to strike. Slowly, Whelk raised his hands and pulled up his sleeves, revealing a small vial of clear liquid attached to a stopper on his wrist. It looped around his thumb, giving the impression of a ring and would have been easily used to sneak what it was in the vial into anything he wanted. 

The empty smile made Ronan’s heart thump thump thump. 

“It’s poison. The same that was used on the queen,” Whelk snarled. “We’ve been feeding it to him for months. None of you noticed your precious king was failing?”

Ronan spun around and stared at Declan. “Dec?”

“I thought it was the pressure of the job.” His hands were shaking and Ronan realised they’d been shaking for a long time. “The headaches, the pains, the dizziness. Fuck.”

“Where’s the antidote?” Noah slammed him into the wall. “Now.”

Whelk cackled. “There isn’t one.”

“Prince Ronan?” Noah didn’t take his eyes off Whelk. 

“Tie him up. Gag him. You have to go and get Adam.” The orders came easily as his training allowed him to slip into the royal shield of prince, captain of the guard, as a leader. Underneath the sheen of responsibility, he trembled. “Declan’s guard will protect me. You’ll be the fastest.”

Noah nodded without disagreement at leaving Ronan and that alone told Ronan exactly how serious the situation had become. He tied Whelk up, and spoke to Declan’s guard in whispers. There were only two, the rest were off searching for Matthew. With a tight squeeze of his shoulder, Noah disappeared behind the tapestry. 

Ronan crouched down in front of Declan. “Are you okay?”

Declan smiled tiredly. “I’ve been sleeping longer, struggling to stay awake. Whelk’s been covering for me,” he said bitterly. “I swear I thought it was the stress of the job and Mom and Dad.” He shook his head. “I’ll write up a concession document. Sign the throne over to you. If they succeed in putting me to sleep, you have to protect the country.”

Ronan swallowed down the scream tearing up his throat and nodded. “I’m not signing it until Adam says there's nothing he can do. We have time yet.”

“Ro…”

“No, Dec. Draw it up. Have it ready. It’s the right thing to do but I’m not signing until I have to. We need three noble witnesses anyway.” He stood and hid his shaking hands behind his back. “Maybe if we stop administering it, you’ll be okay.”

Whelk snorted. 

Ronan didn’t even bother looking at him. “Adam will figure it out.”

Declan nodded but dragged a piece of blank parchment towards him and began writing. The sight made bile hit the back of Ronan’s tongue. 

The door slammed open. The guards were in front of them quicker than Ronan could blink. 

Gansey’s eyes stumbled on Whelk, but kept going until he found Ronan’s. “We know where he is.”

Blue stood behind him, grasping his hand. She bowed at him and Declan. “Sires. We found him. He’s at the old tournament grounds outside the city. There’s a party tonight.”

Ronan looked at Declan. “I have to go.”

“Noah will kill you.”

“I trained him. I trained them.” He pointed at Declan’s guards. “I need to get our brother.”

Declan nodded. “Be careful.”

Ronan was already heading for the door.

***  
Noah shook Adam awake, and even in the dim light, Adam could see his face was stretched tight with tension. “I need you to come with me now and bring your antidotes. The king has been poisoned.”

The words sent a spark of adrenaline up Adam’s spine and he shot up, throwing on clothes and ignoring the aches of his body as he did. “Do you know what it is?”

“The same thing as the queen.”

“Fuck.” Adam grabbed his bag and checked what he had. It was already half full with poisons and antidotes and nutrients and tinctures. He slotted in everything he thought could help and a few more. Glancing around the shelves of the apothecary one last time, he scribbled a note to Persephone to let her know where he was gone and asking her to come as soon as she could, showing it to Noah who nodded his permission. He left it sitting on his bed. “Let’s go.”

Noah’s horse raced through the empty streets, hoofbeats echoing in the darkness. Every thump sent jarring pain through Adam’s body but he allowed it without complaint. When they reached the yard, Noah threw the reins at a stablehand and they raced through the back entrance into the king's private quarters. Adam went straight to Declan, waiting for the nod before he felt his forehead and checked the beat of his heart. Much too slow. Much, much too weak. 

“Where the hell is Ronan?” Noah’s eyes were darting around the room as if Ronan would pop out from behind a piece of furniture. 

“They found Matthew,” Declan croaked, sounding exhausted. His eyes were drooping and Adam feared what that meant. “He’s in the old tournament ground outside the city.”

Noah straightened and glared at the other guards. “You will protect the king?”

“With our lives, sir,” replied the woman behind Declan. “We swear.”

Noah looked at Declan. “My sire, I have to…”

“Go.” He sounded strong and certain in a way that belied the shake to his hands. “Get me my brothers back.”

Noah nodded and disappeared behind the tapestry.

“Just us, Adam,” Declan said, watching as Adam went through his checks. “What do you think?”

Adam pursed his lips. “Do you know anything of doses? How long you’ve been taking it?”

The man behind Adam laughed. “We’ve been giving it to him for months. Steadily increasing the doses.” 

Ignoring him, Adam grabbed a caffe of cold coffee sitting on the king's desk and thrust it into Declan’s hands. “Drink this.” He grabbed a vial from his bag, and checking the label, poured it into the coffee. “That will keep you awake. You are not to go to sleep until I allow it, do you understand?” 

Declan nodded, and swallowed the liquid dutifully. 

Adam examined Whelk. “You work with Greenmantle. You’ve been to the house.”

The man snapped his jaw shut and he glanced away. 

“Greenmantle?” Declan shuddered under Adam’s fingers. “He’s behind this?”

“He must be, it’s all too confidential.” Adam glared at the man. “How much have you given him? When were you planning on striking?”

“Well, not so soon,” Greenmantle said, appearing from the tapestry like a wraith. Piper followed and settled herself into a seat with an imperious air. Others followed too; men, big and bulky and shaped like violence. “But my impatient son moved too soon and now I must act.”

The guards moved in front of Adam and Declan, giving Adam a chance to drop to his knee and hide two vials of blood thistle poison up his sleeve. He shook his head at Declan’s raised eyebrow and stood. It took barely a scuffle for the two guards to be relieved of their weapons and their consciousness when faced with eight burly men. 

“Untie him,” Greenmantle said, waving his hand. When no one moved, he snapped, “Now, Adam.”

Adam nodded and untied Whelk. 

Whelk shoved passed him, rubbing his wrists and stood behind Greenmantle’s chair. “I told him nothing, my lord.”

Greenmantle rolled his eyes before focusing on Declan. “Now, my King,” he sneered. “I assume you’ve already written up your concession papers? Always were so predictable, weren’t you? Just change the name to mine. Sign it and we’ll all leave here with our lives. Whelk, Adam and Piper can act as witnesses.”

“They have to be nobles,” Declan said through gritted teeth. 

“Adam is my son. He is noble in that regard, I suppose.” His eyes dragged over Adam’s body like he was a piece of rubbish. “I bequeath you my titles and my lands as the oldest son in front of my king and wife.” He clapped. “There you’re as noble as Kavinsky and Tad are. Which is to say nothing without my good name.”

Piper huffed. “Don’t insult my boys, sugarplum.”

“Never, my future queen.” That seemed to appease her and she smiled. “We can always take it away from him after.”

“Thank you, my lord. I appreciate your generosity.” The words tasted like blood in Adam’s mouth. “Wine, sir? I can get it for you all. Customary in times of celebration.”

Piper giggled something low and mean. “So desperate to be taken back by our family now, aren’t you?” 

Adam bowed his head in the perfect mimicry of regret and apology. “I was wrong to lie to you and your family after everything you had done for me.” 

“Too right,” Greenmantle crowed, his weakness had always been his pride and need to be loved. He waved his hand. “Yes, wine for everyone.”

Adam nodded, subtly squeezing Declan’s arm as he walked past. 

“So this was your plan all along, Greenmantle?” Declan’s voice was cold with the power of the throne. “Take the country from my family? Whelk is not noble and never will be.”

Whelk sneered.

“Did you kill my father too?”

Greenmantle snorted. “Oh, yes. My lackey did that in a bid for his own freedom. Paid a king's ransom one could say.”

Adam stiffened at Mr Grey’s familiar words, but recognising that Declan was keeping them distracted, he gathered eleven glasses, and with his back to the room, slipped a few drops of poison into each one. Enough that they wouldn’t taste it but would still act quickly enough that Greenmantle wouldn’t be able to go through with his insane plan. The wine was rich ruby red in the crystal glasses. He handed them out throughout the room. No one drank until Greenmantle was handed a glass. 

Greenmantle held it to the light and then said, “You drink it.”

“Me?” Adam asked, feigning surprise. “I can make myself up one if you want me to toast to your success.”

“I want to check you haven’t poisoned us, you fool of a boy. Now, drink it.”

Nodding, Adam took the glass and downed it in one long drag. The poison was a bitter sting at the back of his tongue. He smiled when he was done. “Shall I pour you another?”

Greenmantle watched him for a long moment and nodded. “Yes. Do.”

Using the last of the poison, he filled Greenmantle’s glass and handed it to him. 

“To success,” Greenmantle cheered and everyone downed their drinks. 

Adam didn’t look to the King but he could feel Declan’s eyes boring into his skull.  
***

The old tournament ground smelt like rot and mildew. The wooden walls that surrounded it were half broken teeth in an empty smile. Litter from long finished parties added to the disarray. Ronan hadn’t been here since long before his father had been killed. King Niall had built a stadium in Ronan’s honour when he turned sixteen and the old one had been left to ruin. 

Kavinsky had clearly taken the empty space and turned it into his own playground.  
Peasants wandered the grounds, stumbling and bleary. Vendors, selling cheap alcohol and what looked like some sort of drugs, lined the walls. Ronan had left his crown at the castle and had his hood up to hide his face. Only his sword, heavy on his waist, revealed who he really was, and he kept that hidden in the folds of his cloak. He moved swiftly though the crowd, pushing people aside. Blue and Gansey were at his side, heads swiveling back and forth as he watched. 

“There.” Gansey pointed to the main sparring ring which was thick with people crowding around it. “He has carts and… Oh god, he has a torch, Ronan. I think he’s going to set them on fire.”

Ronan ran, pushing people out of the way and not caring about the shouts that came after him. He jumped the fence just as Kavinsky screamed into the crowd, “Who wants to watch the prince burn?” and set the first cart on fire. The whoosh of the flames was followed by screams of delight. 

Ronan didn’t hesitate to tackle him, knowing Gansey and Blue would get Matthew. “What the hell are you thinking, you fuck? You know I have every right to kill you now as recompense.”

“I look forward to you trying,” K sneered from under him. “Do it? Or are you too much of a coward?”

Ronan stood. “Stand and face me like a man.” When he dropped his hood, silence fell as the crowd recognised their prince. He withdrew his sword and tilted his head. “Well? Let’s see how long it takes for this crowd of yours to turn on you.”

They struck at the same time, metal clashing against metal in a clanging echo. The only noises now were the roar of the fire spreading too fast for comfort and the heady gasps as people watched the fight. K fought harder than he ever had before, probably recognising that his life was forfeit after kidnapping a prince. He didn’t hold back, didn’t stick to the polite customs and sportsmanship. He bit. He kicked. If Ronan had hair, he’d have pulled on it. Ronan took all he had and gave it back twice as hard. This man had come into his home and stolen his family. He deserved nothing but death. He drove K back again and again. Blood poured down the side of K’s neck, a nick from the edge of Ronan’s sword. It was clear K was getting tired now; his footwork was sloppy and he was barely parrying Ronan’s blows. 

“Ronan!” Matthew called, and unthinking Ronan turned. 

K’s blade went through his shoulder in an instant and Ronan gasped at the hot, slicing pain that followed. Matthew’s mouth dropped open, eyes stuck on the blade sticking from Ronan’s shoulder. 

Taking in a shuddering breath, Ronan dragged himself free of the blade and swung around, sword raised. His injured arm was dead so he held the sword one handed. 

“Want to hear something funny?” K hissed. “My father is in the castle right now, making your brother sign over the kingdom to my family. As much as I want you there to bow and beg and weep at my feet, as much as I would enjoy making you my little husband, you lost your chance.”

“It was never going to be you and me, K. Not ever.” 

He raised his sword, ignoring how it made his arm tremble. Blood dripped on the ground below him, turning the dirt darker. He struck hard and fast, not giving K any time to recover between blows. He caught him on the side and then again on his arm. Kavinsky swung one last time, and Ronan swerved once and then twice, finally shoving him up against the fence. 

“My sword is too good for you to die on,” he snarled, and drawing back a fist, he knocked Kavinsky out. 

He staggered back and looked for his brother. Matthew swung an arm around him, stinking of burnt wood and smoke. Ronan’s arm was completely numb, a heavy weight swinging at his side, and the edges of his vision was black. Gansey and Blue appeared in front of him and he realised he’d lost time. Noah was suddenly there, tying Kavinsky up and wrapped Ronan’s arm, leading him to a horse tied to the fence. 

He got onto the horse behind Matthew and blacked out. 

***  
His hands went numb first. He refused to react.

He was behind Greenmantle, ignored, and for once it was to his advantage. He leaned heavily against the wall, using it to hold him up as his knees went weak. His stomach ached and he was sweating. Still, he forced himself to appear as calm as ever. 

“Well, my liege, I do believe it’s time for you to sign over your kingdom.”

Declan’s eyes found Adam and he shook his head just slightly. 

“I think not.” Declan stood as regal and proud as ever despite the dark shadows under his eyes and the shaking hands he could no longer hide. “It is time you left. Since Adam is now the only legitimate heir to your lands and titles, I will strip you of your holdings and bequeath them to him.”

Greenmantle laughed.

Before he could say anything else, one of the men collapsed in a heap on the floor. Not even a second later, another followed. 

Greenmantle shot to his feet and staggered, falling into the desk and knocking over the open ink container over the concession papers. Adam would have laughed if everything didn’t hurt so much. 

“What did you do?” Greenmantle sneered, stepping forward and falling to his knees. “You bastard child, what did you do?”

“Protected my king,” Adam managed, holding onto consciousness by pure force of will. “Thank you for my titles, stepfather.”

Piper slid to the floor, unconscious. Greenmantle crawled over, wrapping his arms around her and begging her to wake up. The other men fell in a parody of leaves from a tree. Each body hit the floor with a loud thump. Adam pushed himself off the wall and dragged his body over to Declan. Each footstep felt like it took a mountain of effort. 

He fell to his knees in front of his king. “Contact Persephone, my liege.” His voice was a sword across stone. “She will be able to reverse their poison in you, I am sure of it. Tell Prince Ronan…” He fell again, hitting the floor with a thud that echoed in his head. “Tell him I’m a noble now. We can finally be together.” 

Adam let the darkness claim him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “That boy came pounding in here last night looking for you and Blue. The jumper one.”
> 
> Adam snorted, ignoring how his heart leapt in his chest at the thought of Matthew missing, and Ronan scared, and Declan hurting. “Gansey?”
> 
> This is the funniest thing I've ever written and I am very pleased with it. In case you don't know, Gansey means jumper in Irish.


	6. Daylight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not going to lie, this is just fluff. I feel like we've all earned it! Thank you to everyone who stuck with me and commented, read and gave my little story kudos! I appreciate you all! 
> 
> I've started a new fic if you're interested: [Choices](https://archiveofourown.org/works/28736523/chapters/70460919)
> 
> Enjoy!

Adam woke up. 

That was unexpected. 

The bed beneath him was soft and warm, the sheets gentle against his aching body. He stretched out his arms and hit something solid and hot. He blinked his eyes open. Prince Ronan sat beside him in the bed, reading. He was paler than normal. A thick white bandage wrapped around his shoulder. He stared down at Adam, eyes soft in a way Adam had never had directed at him before. 

“Hey,” he croaked out. “What happened?”

Ronan’s brow furrowed. “You don’t remember?”

Adam shut his eyes against the painful light and tried to think back. There were mostly only flashes left but he slowly managed to put it all together. Adrenaline shot though him and he tried to sit up. “Is the king okay? Is Matthew? What happened to your shoulder?”

"Adam, stop. You need to rest." Ronan pressed him back down gently. He closed the book resting on his lap and put it on the table beside him before directing all his attention on Adam. It was startling to be under the full concentration of those blue eyes. “Are you okay?” 

“What? Yeah, obviously.” Adam stared up at him, confused. “I’m fine. I’m always fine. Lynch. Tell me everyone is okay.”

“Persephone is administering the antidote to Dec daily. He’s already stronger. Matthew doesn’t have scratch on him. He was back annoying everyone within hours of his return.” The words should have been teasing but Ronan’s voice was too full of love to be anything but soft. “I got distracted in a sword fight like a damn amateur and have to hang out in my room until I heal up. Luckily, you're also here.”

Adam glanced around and recognised the room from the night he saved Noah. It was messier; clearly Ronan was bored of bed rest and they were trying to keep him entertained with puzzles, books and paints. Adam looked down at his shuddering hands. “I was meant to die.”

“Fuck you, man. If you ever pull that shit again…” Ronan took a weak breath and ran a hand through Adam’s hair; the soft touch belied the anger in his voice. “You don’t get to die, okay? Not for us.”

Adam leaned into the touch like a cat and Ronan huffed out an amused noise. He closed his eyes when he said, “They were going to take the kingdom from you. Kill Declan and Matthew. Kill you. I would do it all over again. For you, for your family, I would do it again.”

“Because Declan is your king?”

Adam shook his head and stared up at Ronan. “Because Declan is your brother.”

Ronan’s head fell against the wall with a soft thump. “Marry me.”

“Not a noble,” Adam replied, ignoring how his heart thumped at the words. 

“You are now. Greenmantle, before the bastarding bastard died, made you one in front of the king. Made you a legitimate heir to his lands and title. Since K and Tad are currently rotting in jail, and Piper is also dead, it means it’s all yours." Ronan gripped his hand, voice intense, "So, I ask again, marry me.”

“That wasn’t technically a question.”

Ronan grinned down at him. “This is gonna be our whole life, isn’t it?”

“You’re a Prince." Adam grinned, ignoring how the happiness flowing through him was making him almost dizzy. "You know how a question works.”

Ronan huffed but he still stood, walking around the bed and kneeling by Adam. 

Adam’s breath caught at the prince kneeling in front of him. “Lynch.”

“Adam Parrish, will you do me the greatest honor of my life by agreeing to become my husband?”

Adam nodded. “Yes,” he whispered. “Ronan, yes.”

Ronan leaned over him and kissed him softly on the lips. “You need to rest and I need to tell my brothers.”

“Stay.” Adam looped his hand gently around Ronan’s wrist. “Just until I fall back asleep.”

***

Ronan stared down at Adam, curled into Ronan’s leg asleep, and smiled. Everything had been so bad when he’d arrived back at the castle; he was bleary with blood loss and Noah insisted he sit down so he could stitch him up, Adam was barely alive and Persephone desperately trying to make up enough of the antidote. Declan, half asleep but forcing down a concoction this woman with giant,, white hair had mixed up, before rushing to help Adam. 

Bodies everywhere. 

Knowing that Adam had scarified himself for Ronan's family. The apology on Declan's face. The desperation on Blue's as she cried into Gansey's shoulder when she saw Adam, pale and still on the stone floor. 

Ronan hated being royalty in that moment. Hated knowing that Declan had been looked after before Adam. Still, he had held Adam’s hand and held him up when Persephone got him to swallow the antidote and sat beside him in the bed for twelve hours before he woke. The bodies had been dealt with and Greenmantle’s traitorous betrayal revealed to the other nobles. They instantly took the side of the king and the royal family for fear the dark stain would reach their families as well. There had been no questions that Declan was fit for the throne. 

They knew the consequences of such whisperings. 

When he had shaken himself free of the memories that would haunt him for a long time, and was sure Adam was asleep, Ronan left the room and called for some food and his brothers. Noah was sitting by the fire, reading. Gansey was asleep in the chair opposite him. 

“How is he?” Noah asked when the servant left. 

“Exhausted. Sore. He’ll live." Ronan ran a hand over his bristly head. "Cared more about Dec and Matthew than himself.”

Noah nodded. “He’ll make a good partner for you.”

“Oh fuck you,” Ronan replied cheerfully, watching a servant set the table and lay out the food. “Wake up Dick so we can eat.”

“Can’t start without the king,” Declan said with a smile as he strode into the room with Matthew behind him. The shaking in his hands had already calmed and the horrible gaunt look had faded from his face after a night of real sleep. “How’s Adam?”

“Exhausted. Sore,” Noah repeated. “Alive.” He hit Gansey and he jerked awake. “Food,” Noah said as Gansey wiped the sleep from his eyes. 

“Okay,” he stood and dropped into a chair by the table, grabbing food. “Blue kept me up talking about the inequalities in our kingdom. I think it helped keep her calm while we waited for news of Adam.”

“Just the inequalities?” Noah smirked. 

Gansey choked on his wine, and everyone laughed. 

The fire was warm behind Ronan. The food was steaming, and the wine was plentiful. A storm wet the windows, and the made the room cosy and safe. They were all together and they were alive. Ronan took a deep breathe and let some of the tension he'd been carrying fade from his shoulders. 

“Do you think he’ll take entrance into the college now that he’s marrying a prince?” Matthew asked around a mouth of chicken. 

Ronan choked. “Who said he was marrying a prince?”

“Oh please,” Dec snorted a most unkinglike noise. “I bet he wasn’t awake five minutes and you were proposing.”

“One minute,” Adam said from the doorway. He leaned against the doorjamb and trembled from the effort. “Can I get some food please?”

Ronan jumped up and guided Adam to the table with his arm around his waist. 

“Im fine, Lynch," Adam said with a grin that didn't hide how heavily he fell into the chair, and how out of breath he was from the small journey. 

“Sure you are,” Ronan responded, making sure he was steady before removing his arms. “What food do you want?”

“I can make up my own plate.”

Ronan ignored him, and everyone staring at him, and made Adam up a plate. “Eat. Slowly. Persephone said you might puke if you ate too fast.”

“I don’t know if you remember this but I saved Noah from this exact poison." He took a small bite of bread and chewed it carefully. "I quite literally wrote the book on it. You could give me a little credit.”

Ronan smirked. “Nope. Now, eat your damn food, Parrish.”

“Where is the book, Adam?” Gansey asked, scholarly face already in place.

“It’s not finished. I’ll need to add the queen's poison with your permission,” he said to Declan. “And I’ll need someone to review it and recreate my tests. They are worthless until they are replicated.”

Gansey grinned, wide and bright. “I will happily volunteer for that job.”

Adam grinned too and leaned into Ronan’s side. “I thought you might.”

Ronan placed his hand on Adam’s knee. “I did by the way.”

“Did what?” Declan asked.

“Propose." Ronan grinned at the shocked silence. "Adam said yes.”

The table erupted into a cheerful explosion of noise and joy. 

***

Adam ran a hand through his hair and closed the test paper. The exam was a grueling six hours long; three hours written, one hour debate against other wannabe students, and two hours discussion with an examiner. Having rechecked his pages three times, he walked to the front and handed in his exam. He was the first one finished and he felt more than one set of jealous eyes on him. 

Matthew was waiting for him outside the hall with his guards. “How’d it go?”

Adam shrugged. “I think it went well but I guess I’ll find out in a few weeks.”

“You know you have a place either way, you know that right? This is your dream, Adam.”

Adam grinned. “My dream was to earn it.” They walked down the empty corridor. Deep brown wood layered the floor making their footsteps noisy exclamations. Art hung on the walls and sunlight filtered in through stained glass windows. Adam imagined studying here, and knew he would love it. “So, why are you really here? I know you didn’t just come here to meet me.”

Matthew grinned ruefully. “You’re right. I need help with Ronan’s birthday present.”

“What did you used to do before I was here to ask?” 

Matthew shrugged. “Gave him a new sword mostly.”

“Oh, so you’re responsible for the ten swords hanging around the prince’s rooms?” Adam laughed. “Let’s go to the market and see what we can get him.”

It was only a week later that the results arrived. Adam lifted one eyebrow at them and Ronan shrugged, “I may have encouraged Matthew to rush them. You said you wouldn’t marry me until you were a student. I’m bored of waiting. Shut up,” he muttered when he saw the smile on Adams' face. 

Adam leaned forward and caught Ronan’s lips with him. “I won’t tell a soul.”

With slightly shaking hands, they almost always trembled since he was poisoned with such a high dose, he opened the thick, starched envelope. “I got in,” he whispered. 

Ronan whooped. “I knew you would.”

***  
They got married on a Saturday. 

A lavish affair that included the commoners and the nobles as equals. Adam had insisted. Adam was already well loved after he had donated his lands and house to an orphanage. Well loved because the princes smiled more now than they had in months. Even the king seemed lighter. Gossip had filtered out about what Adam had done to save the King’s life. Adam was a hero in his own right, and Ronan had never been more proud than walking into the ballroom after the private ceremony with Adam on his arm. They wore blue; navy for Ronan and a light blue for Adam. They danced and ate and laughed and escaped early to walk through the halls.

They ended up in front of the painting Ronan had kissed Adam at the ball so many months ago. 

Staring up at the painting, Ronan whispered, “I knew even then.”

“Knew what, Lynch?”

“That you were it for me, Parrish. That you would always be it.” Ronan took his hand and kissed each knuckle, slowly, reverently. “I love you, Adam.”

Adam blushed, still unused to the words even after all this time. “I love you too, Ronan.”

“Crown suits you, my liege,” Ronan grinned. 

Adam laughed, loud and bright. “Let’s go back to your brothers. Declan is going to murder us if we leave him with the nobles for too long.”

“Fucking fine, Parrish. Let’s go save my brother.”

They walked towards the ballroom, hand in hand, Noah following them as quiet as a ghost but with a bright smile tugging up his lips.


End file.
